Well here is a little history for everyone who doesnt know my sitch. I have been married for 6 years I am 27 W is 26. W droped the I want a D bomb almost 4 months ago. So I have been DBing ever since. Basically she has come back she has told me that she Loves me. She is now sleeping in our bed again. Finally this weekend we made love. That was on Thursday.
So tonight as we are going to bed I try to iniate that again and get turned down flat. I am having a really hard time with this right now. Im seeing shades of our old R where I would iniate it and get turned down. Im feeling those same feelings of her not wanting me. Even though in her other actions I do see that she loves me. Im feeling old resentments coming back up. I am seeing that old score card coming back also. Some of you may know the one, I did this and this and this and now I deserve Love that way I need it. The problem is my W it seems is still not willing to give it out freely. I really dont know if I am willing to stay in a R where we only make love once a week. I want more. Heck I need more. I deserve more than that. I know that it is probably very early on and I know that I still need patience and need to keep my feelings in check but it is very hard. That Is why im writing this so that I just dont go off on my W. Anyway that is the way that im feeling right now.
