What a lousy day.... Since I came back, the "sign the divorce papers" thing and the "hate talk" really spoiled my mood. I didn't realize how attached I am to W - I don't even think it is healthy. I got the book "no more nice guys", and started reading it.... maybe is going to cast some light. I am definitely unhappy with where I am in life, at least I have something to work on. Yesterday during the "hate fight" I asked W if she noticed my changes, she had a very harsh answer: let's see if they last a couple of years, then we can talk about it. I tried to make her jealous, with my fake phone calls, and innuendos, she doesn't care.... About OM she said it is very hard to start a new relation with the emotional baggage she has, and probably this thing is not going to go anywhere (I wish it was true ).... and OM is just helping her to move on... mha!
Today I cant stop thinking about W and relation, I am totally consumed. It helps me journaling here in the board, get stuff out of my chest. Even my parents are sick and tired to hear about me wanting to save this marriage. Their answer is to "find another woman fast", this is the best thing I could do for myself..... like it is easy specially with the motional mess I am in....
Tonight I think I am going out for a beer with a "singles" group that meets through internet - first time - I don't really know what to expect, not much actually. I'll decide at the last minute if to go or not.
