Wow- you got the result you wanted, but now you have to live with keeping a secret from him. I think you need to find a way to tell him what you did, in good time. If you forgave him for his infidelity, he should find a way to forgive you for your sneakiness.
Umm...I may get some 2x4's, but I'm not sure telling him is a good idea. What purpose would it serve?
Would it help or hurt your husband?
Would it help or hurt the marriage?
Would it help or hurt your chances at a happy future together?
I am NOT saying that what you did was right. It was manipulative and controlling, and that is not okay. But it is something you did out of desperation, and many of us here might have done the same thing if faced with the same situation. (And had your "mad skillz!!!" LOL.)
But it is in the past. Definitely go to counseling, with him or without him. Work through it with your counselor, understand why you did it and why you were able to justify it to yourself, forgive yourself for it, and commit to 100% honesty from here on out. If you are able to forgive him for cheating, and he is able to work through his MLC issues and recommit to the marriage, how would telling him help? I foresee that it would be the end of the marriage.
If you must tell him, wait until you are in your 70's or 80's and have blissfully happy lives with your grandchildren scampering around you. By then, he might even laugh at it. But for now, take it to God, take it here, take it to your counselor, not to your H.
Just MO, of course.
Me:40, xH:41 M:19 T:21 D14, S10, D6 IDLYA bomb:12/22/06 OW bomb (21 yr. old employee):12/23/06 H move out 2/07, OW move in 5/07 D papers served 6/07 D final Nov. 26, 08 :-(
