Ellie like AMD you hit the nail on the head for me. Interestingly in my case it was H who was the romantic one and H who got the thyroid disease. He did have this under control and really looked after himself but now he has put on 3 stone is up to maximum on his thyroxine and doesn't go for his blood levels checking when he should (he never missed these before).
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Ellie - I think you hit the nail on the hit with the "romantic" scenario. Thank you for giving me a new way to look at it as I am also from one of those situations. Tho H came back..........he is quite needful of attention........unbelieveable neediness in that area tho he won't admit to it.......he does, however, see it in others who have that problem.
brue
I'm alive, I'm happy - why shouldn't I tell the world I've got my head screwed back on just fine. Life is good for the Brue!
Haven't been online much. I was at the cottage for a week with no Internet, mostly alone, working on my minis, enjoying nature. A couple of days with Josh. Came home and Internet was cut in the Elevator reno which, I am so pleased to say, should be operational TODAY!!!
I didn't know you were a Cap, but I figured it. I am also one. My birthday is Jan 16. Josh is a Cap. Chuck is a Cap. maggot is a Cap. Strange world, eh?
I think you are in a good place. It is so much better to meet "that someone special" when we don't really feel the "need" so much. I think that point comes naturally after a while. It did for me.
I LOVE what Ellie posted about romantics. I certainly believe it to be true. Especially about that "dopamine high". We all want that but it sure can't last. And when balancing kids, jobs, housework, bills etc - some of the charm does rub off. I think your ex (like mine) may have not wanted to grow up and face adult issues and wanted to retreat back to that "falling in love" stage. Affairs work in those situations.
As much as I fault my ex for so much garbage (yes, even during our M), I know he loved me. He was demostrative. He said it all the time. Always and Forever on every card (yes, even after the affair started). I do think in thier new Rs the luster does wear off over time too, but maybe its not the same when you don't have the responsibilities of kids etc. You and I both got a little more than we bargained for when we became mothers. But we also got something special that no one else can probably understand. Hopefully, like me, you felt some of that on Mother's Day this year.
You might want to move to the coast. Funny, I always thought (until I met you last month) that you already lived there. Perhaps my longterm vision is accurate.
Wish I could go to Maine with you. I had seriously considered it. Also Sturbridge. But my best friend in British Columbia had been begging me to visit for a while so I'm off there tommorrow. And I can't wait. Because I so love the coast too. And her H has a boat. And takes me fishing. And trapping crabs and prawns. Oh - it will be one seafood feast after another. But I think I might go to Maine next year. I will plan ahead and get the classes I want. And I will be sure to see you there or perhaps at IGMA this year.
MMO Takin my kid to Scuba lessons in June. Good stuff. You posts do open up an insite. As far as Mitch if a man could act as you report with staying power that would be a fine combo indeed.
Never was able to achieve that goal however I wish for you the best.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
Thank you for this perspective. I had not necessarily made the connection between the romanticism and the well running dry, but I have recently been wondering if all relationships have a shelf life. I suppose I was lucky in that the romance and love lasted a fairly long time with Mitch and I.
And yes, I need a rock next time (actually, what I'd really like is The Rock---ooh la la!! ) but I also really need romance as well. Iam such a romantic--bread in the bone. I don't think I could be happy in a relationship that was not in a significant way, romantic. Do you think you can have a man who is both a rock AND romantic? I hope so because that's what I want for myself.
Hiya Brue--so are you able to provide your H with the romantic fuel he needs? When you fill up his love tank, does it stay full for a while or does it drain down before you are able to fill it back up again?
I think my H probably needed more than I was able to give him for a while. Even though I am romantic and attentive, Ellie is right--kids, thyroid and other oppressive/depressive scenarios collided to make me less of who he needed and frankly less of who I wanted to be. Love, A
I don't think the renaissance fair is the venue for my work, but I'd like to go just for the fun of it and especially to ogle the studly fellas jousting!
I have a German friend who is totally into the whole reenactment stuff and her husband is a sword fighter and it's all a little silly and weird (especially when she tells me about being a hand maiden to the queen and having to do all this crazy stuff for her mistress) but she seems to really love it and have a great time.
She told me she was friends with a real Baron who is a single guy (lives in Bavaria somewhere) and he's also a jewelry maker--I told her to set me up! Oh, get this, he also lives in a castle AND she says he's very handsome. Hey, a girl can dream can't she?
Yes Barb, I hear ya woman. When you become a mom you think it's all going to be so warm and fuzzy and then something goes wrong or you have more than you bargained for and gulp--life changes in an instant. And no matter how well we adapt or heroically face the challenges other's cannot imagine dealing with, it robs us of our ability to be innocent romantics--at least for a time.
I hope your long term vision for me is true--I'd actually like to move to Italy and live on the sea. I'd fish and make home made pasta and knit in a hammock and make wild, passionate love with a swarthy Italian man.
Okay, now I just made myself feel SOOOO happy thinking about that!
love you
) but I also really need romance as well. Iam such a romantic--bread in the bone. I don't think I could be happy in a relationship that was not in a significant way, romantic. Do you think you can have a man who is both a rock AND romantic? I hope so because that's what I want for myself.