He only has the email for her that he has been using. He thinks she got married and is living with her new husband in the states. He doesn't know her "new married name". I checked her cell phone and that number is no longer active so she probably can't afford it without him buying her the minutes. Now He thinks she just was with himself and the new husband so that she could come to America. So I don't think he wants to be with the new image of her. He wants to be with the fantasy of her.
He was down there for six months. The affair didn't start until he was there after 3 1/2 months. So I don't think it was a product of our broken relationship. I think he would have messed around right when he got there if that is the case. I think it was a horny man in an atmosphere of permissiveness and it was easy to just let it happen. I am not saying that makes it okay. As a matter of fact, I have no idea what I am saying or what it means. I had never worried about anything like this before. We have been together for 25 years, and this is the first time anything has ever even caused me concerned.
When I left the note that I knew about the affair, he went to his brother's house and broke down crying because he didn't think I would ever come back or forgive him. He said he was ashamed and embarrassed that he ever did that to me, and that I have done nothing but support him through the years. He knows I didn't deserve this kind of betrayal. And I don't think he ever thought he was a person that would do that.
I don't know what is in store for the future. He has told me that he doesn't want me to feel like I have to stay because of monentary concerns. Since my health problems will never really go away, my future earning potential isn't very promising. He has promised that no matter what I decide, he will be there financially for me. Although it might be easier to say that to me because he knows I don't want a divorce.
