I think she wants to be friends

[frank_D]

I'm gonna do that tonight and every night while she's gone..

Or - just don't answer if it's her? You have voicemail - that's what it's for.

[sleeper]

X-W just called (I didn't answer). She and kids have arrived at "our" family vacation spot. Wanted to let me know how much the towm has grown how, "We shoulda bought that property years ago."

We tried to buy property there years ago. I wanted it. She wanted it. We had a contract and were trying to buy it long distance but at the same time we were involved in the criminal prosecution of the man who molested our 3 yr old D. When the real estate deal went sour (we got ripped off) we let that go because more important things were going on closer to home.

I think x-W may have selective amnesia. She remembers the big events but not the details.

Why is she saying "we" should have bought that property? There is no more "we" as we are divorced. This reminds me that a couple of times in the past year she has asked if I would be interested in buying property in that area with her. Yes, even as she was divorcing me.

Oh, there was something else that happened today. She told me that OM has taken his cats back to his place at her request. She said it was because of her allergies. She smiled at me as she told me this, like a smile of relief. Why would she tell me such things?

That high-pitched wailing sound you hear in the distance is me screaming.

I have now turned the phone ringer off.

[forward]

Sleeper,
It's obvious she's not "done," and probably feeling guilty.

If you can wait it out, I believe she will come around.

[sleeper]

Thanks Breton.

I know she's not "done." But it's hell waiting for her to get done.

The things she is saying now aren't really that different from what she said last year when she made the trip without me. I guess I should be grateful that the trip is reminding her of times when we were there together.

"When will you make an end of it?" Pope somethingorother, played by Rex Harrison

"When I am finished." Michaelangelo, played by Charlton Heston

[forward]

What's the movie you're referring to, Sleeper?

[sleeper]

I think it was, "The Passion" , 196_.

It was about the painting of the Sistine Chapel.

[sleeper]

Breton,

While sleeping, in the middle of the night (the only time my head is truly clear) the name of that movie with Rex Harrison and Charlton Heston came to me;

"The Agony and the Extasy"

Great movie, bad title.

[Purr]

Hi Sleeper,

In some ways, it's like the D. was more of a formality, but some of the same kinds of dynamics are happenings between you and W.. I imagine in some ways, it feels good that there is still this "sort-of" connection. And yet, it is torturous at the same time because even the D. has not really prompted a lot of apparent movement. Your situation is a tough and curious one. I wonder (as I'm sure do you) what the heck will be happening next. Any good plans for yourself this weekend?

Purr

[sleeper]

Morning Purr,

Yes, once W decided she wanted a D it had to happen. She is headstrong like that. My mother is the same way. That's why they don't get along;

Opposites attract

Likes collide

If counselor was right (he said he was sure she was gong to divorce me and believed she would marry me again) she will now remarry me. The only questions are how long will it take and will I still be waiting.

As far as apparent movement, if I could find the discipline to go dark/no contact it might speed things along. It's problematic because we have kids/incomplete financial separation and I'm a wimp (I'm still in love with her).

This weekend? I wimped out on going out last night. Have a tentative date to lay out at the pool with same female this afternoon (that will be sheer torture for me). Betwen now and then I have errands to run, going to the gym and there's a gun show in town (no, I'm not one of those angry people who turns to religion or guns).

How is your sitch coming, Purr?

"The Agony and the Ecstacy" (Anyone know what's wrong with that diet button?)

[sleeper]

I have a question for the mighty Oz:

How far/how much financial damage do you allow them to experience before you intervene?

W is out of town and some financial stuff is going down that I could stop (she is unaware). If I don't take action the kids will be hurt too.

That's the kind of "double bind" I have found myself in every time natural consequences occur from which many would say (and have) I should not rescue her from.

"When elephants battle the grass suffers" African proverb