Wow, so close to the same time. I feel like H and OW's R just progressed so quickly, but I guess they spent a lot of time together during that damn play.
I feel the same way....can't believe it was a year, but at the same time seems so long ago. I still think back to the worst times when H was so mean and I was a mess and think...did that really happen??
Yes, we have both come a long way in the last year. H has come a long way in just the last few weeks. He also told me that he was going to ask off for the wedding so he could go with me .
H has become kinda clingy lately. I am not complaining, it is just completely different from how he has acted for the past year. Friday night I went to dinner with a friend and he started texting me, and I decided to go by his place on my way home.
We just sat around and talked. This was by far the most talking we have done in a while. We sat up until after 2 am talking....and I mean R talk. I tried to keep it very light and not get emotional. H was the one that started this so I wanted him to feel comfortable with talking to me about it.
He actually cried and told me he was so sorry. He said he made the biggest mistake of his life and he wasn't even sure why he did it. He said that whole time just kind of seems like a blur. He said it was kind of like an out of body experience. He said even when he was moving out, his body was packing all his things...but his mind was saying "what the hell am I doing?" He said he felt like he had gone to the point of no return and he had to go through with it and he felt like if he was a jerk to me then maybe I would just get tired of him and file on my own.
We even talked about OW and how that happened. I was actually pretty empathetic during that part of the convo because as I have said before I can see how that could have happened. At one point I asked him if he thought things could be normal between us again and he said "I sure hope so."
He asked me to stay the night again, so I did. He was much more touchy during the night than he has been lately. The next morning I told him that I was going to Birmingham for the bachelorette party and he seemed disappointed. He asked when I was leaving and I said around lunch time but I had a lot to do before then. Again he sounded disappointed and said he was hoping that we could go to lunch before he went to work. I told him I couldn't since I had a lot to do but maybe we could do something when I got back Sunday.
Well, yesterday he started texting me at about noon asking when I would be home. I ended up leaving a little later than I thought so I got home pretty late and I was just going to tell H that I would see him the next day. He kept texting though and so I decided to go by and see him for a little bit. Told him I was sorry I left so late since we sort of had plans. He said it was ok, he had just been looking forward to seeing me all day. I didn't stay long since I was so tired and we made plans for tonight.
I am not sure where this change came from. He no longer seems wishy washy and he just seems happier in general. I like seeing him that way so hopefully the change will stick.
On another note, we had SO much fun at the bachelorette party. I was kind of dreading it but I ended up having a blast. I had a few guys buy me drinks....so that is good for the PMA!!
Thanks Michelle, Yes the bachelorette party was fun....although something I am STILL recovering from.
We did have some great talks. H really opened up this weekend and I hope that I made him feel comfortable enough to talk to me about this. There was no fighting even though we did talk about some touchy subjects. I did not get overly emotional and only cried a little bit when he did. His apology/regret seemed so sincere, that was the first time I really believed him.
He also said "I was thinking today about how much I would like for us to have kids." I have said on here before about how much he wanted to have kids pre-bomb and then ever since it has really seemed like he hates kids and was just disgusted by the idea. So that was surprising to me.
I also asked him where his wedding ring is. He told me in his car and said that the other day he got it out and played around with it a little and thought about putting it on. I didn't press him as to why he didn't or if he wanted to put it on. It just didn't seem like the right time, but that shows me that he is thinking about it.
It hasn't been brought up again since the big blowout we had a few weeks ago. I swear I thought things were over that night, but ever since then things have been great.
I kind of want to bring it up again, but I am going to give it some time. I want him to want it too, and not just because I keep bugging him about it. I have been staying over there more and more and I really don't like to stay on week nights because it is just that much earlier I have to get up for work. He seemed a little disappointed that I didn't want to stay last night....so I am hoping that he will bring it up soon.
I also think he is reluctant because he doesn't want me to think it is for financial reasons. He wants to prove that he can do this on his own. I can respect that.
He emailed me to go to lunch today but I couldn't go, so asked for a rain check. I will see him tonight, we still haven't gotten a chance to watch Lost. We have been spending more and more time together.
I really do feel that OW is completely out of the picture now. I believe he was still talking to her for a while, but I just don't suspect it anymore.
We actually talked a lot about the type of women that "OW" are in general. He was...umm, impressed(?)...by how much insight I had on that. I just said trust me, I have read a lot of books and done a lot of research. I may get him to read that book yet!
Maybe you can feel him out in a couple weeks...say something about wanting to get out of your mom's house. Or even give him an opening by saying how much living with her is bugging you and even straining your R w/ your mom???
I am glad he is being more open and it seems like OW is gone!!!!!!!!! That is just fantastic news. And I love that he agreed with your assessment of OW.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Yeah, I have thought about saying something about needing to get out of my mom's house, but then again he knows that. I think I will just wait it out a while and see how it goes.
What I am hoping is that things will continue to happen like last night. He was wanting to see me, but I wanted to go home and take a shower and chill for a little bit so it was already pretty late by the time I got there. Then he wanted me to stay the night but I had to get up to go to work and really just wanted to be home so I could sleep a little later. If I lived there then that wouldn't be a problem.
I have noticed that he doesn't seem to have a problem bringing things up when he gets ready, so I am sure when he is ready for me to move in he will ask. I don't want to do it too soon.
I am keeping my fingers crossed that OW is gone!! Although I am not positive. He did agree with what I was saying about OW and it was kind of funny because there are things that I said that he said he would have never thought about but agreed were true.
Last night, I went over to H's. I was going over to watch Lost that we missed last week. I took him some dinner that my mom had cooked. And when I brought it in he hugged me and he started tearing up.
I asked him what was wrong and he wouldn't say anything. He just kept hugging me, and kissed me on the head. I said "H, your worrying me....what's wrong??" It was just strange the way he wouldn't say anything. I felt like he was working up the nerve to tell me something horrible.
Soooo....I am still not sure what was wrong. He finally told me it was nothing in particular, just kind of a bad day. I didn't press him. A little bit after that he started boo-hooing. I mean bad. I wasn't sure what to do, I just held him while he cried.
Again, asked what was wrong and he said nothing. Uh....ok. After that, things went back to normal. We watched the show and he was more cuddley and kissy than usual.
Then when I was about to leave, I asked one more time if he wanted to talk about whatever was upsetting him and he said no. I didn't really want to press him anymore because that is what I would have done in the past.
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I have said on here before about how much he wanted to have kids pre-bomb and then ever since it has really seemed like he hates kids and was just disgusted by the idea. So that was surprising to me. 