First, my wife. Late 30's..a truly good hearted person, hard worker, wonderful mother.
Would give you the shirt off her back.
She will never try to be someone she is not.
Not a person who worries an awful lot about things, always figures somehow it will all work out.
Loves to entertain, but does not have the house to do it in.
A very social person that everyone loves when they get to know her.
A beautiful woman with a heart of gold.
His description of his behavior:
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mid 40's...early on being married and having the family responsibilities took a toll on me.
I worried about our future, money etc., so much that I think I never focused on the present.
I became this critical over bearing husband / father...never letting up.
She just could not do anything right.
Got us into a house that I knew she did not like because it was the easy way out.
I know now that most times she wished I would not come home at night so she didn't have to listen to the griping and complaining...whether it was about something she or my daughter did, or work or something else.
I have always been a some what insecure person and I felt insecurity in our marriage. I blamed her.
Somehow I thought the fact that I worried about these things every minute of the day and wanted to know where she was and where she was going and when she would be home proved my love.
All I was doing was smothering her.
She just closed up and put up with it...maybe drank a little too much to ease the hurt, which I was constantly on her case about.
Even when I was better and not such a "bastard", I was still so critical of her every move. Constructive Criticism I called it.
His own acknowledgement after his wife's 3rd request to end the marriage:
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It has been about 4 weeks since she opened up to me, and when she told me, a sort of calm came over me. No crying, no begging for another chance, no apologies. I knew it was the wrong thing to do. How could I keep putting her through this? Maybe it really was time to just let this poor girl go and be happy, away from me??
NDS, you tell me. Maybe I misinterpreted because of the connection I feel with your sitch.
The picture I got was of a man who was overbearing, overcritical, rarely happy, but thought working his job and paying the bills was fulfilling his role as father and husband.
You made it seem as though your home was not a happy place to be in when you were there.
The impression I got was of a broken woman, who simply could no longer tolerate being beaten down by a man who could find little good in anything.
So my advice was what it was.
If I was wrong, let me know.
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
