Well if it ends it ends. I think if I would have told him that I know the truth when I found out, we would be separated and well on our way to divorce. I have to live with knowing I am second pick. I think he would've been relieved in a way. He says he never would have left me, and never wanted me to find out, but I am almost positive that it would have given him the motivation to make the changes.
I realize that my life now is a no win situation. If I tell the truth, I may lose him, if I don't, I live with the fact that he is here because he doesn't know the truth.
There is no way I would admit it now what I have done. I thought I was pretty brave just letting him know I know about the affair. But I didn't want to feel the resentment of him just going along like nothing happened.
