WAW...now LBS part III

[HOPEFULinCALI]

Wow, I am pretty sure my W has a "boyfriend". It drives me insane. It hurts me so much that after 7 years of marriage and 2 children she can jump into another relationship so fast. How do you keep on keeping on HiC?

I am impressed and would love to draw upon your strength! I honestly don't know if I can forgive her for what she is doing.

Thank you, but I will tell you a secret. You have that same strength. Believe me I had a lot of dark days at the start and I do from time to time. When I have those days there are a few things I do:
1. Detach.
2. Sep. my H as person from his actions (He isn't himself right now and I have the perspective of having been a WAW so I am able to understand what he is going through a bit better).
3. Remind myself of my goals and the marriage I am fighting for (Not the marriage we had, that marriage is dead and buried, but the marriage we can have. The marriage that is more loving and respectful than our marriage was previously even at it's best).
4. Journal and ask for advice here.
5. Call my DB coach. She is amazing at turning my frustration into solutions.

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. I spent years holding on to grudges and it affected me in ways I never recognized until now and most importantly it affected my marriage. Regardless of how things turn out I try everyday to forgive my H, for myself, and I encourage you to do the same. If you want your M to move forward forgiveness is a have to not should do.

Hang in there. I know you CAN do this