I sort of makes me feel like I am the one that is mean and vicious. I don't know if I can get over that fact that he was willing to risk our life. We had never had problems.
I think it mostly started because they were in a country with very beautiful woman, and alot of those woman want to come to the US. Men go down there and feel like kings. This is a country where american men who are 3's can get attention from women who are 10's. Five of the men down there with him were married and one engaged. Four of them cheated. My husband met this girl just sitting in a restaurant having dinner. He said he never had any intention of cheating, he just got to talking and liked her.
I think he is being truthful with me now. He answers questions I have. And some of them I already know the truth.
I am having the hardest time with the truth that my life isn't what it used to be. It is so humbling and scary. I feel like an old shoe that he was just going to throw out.
In truth, I don't know if he would have had the strength to end it with her if he thought she was still there missing him. I think he really cares about her. He said he could talk to her about everything. Which is ironic, because he didn't tell her he was married until he got home. I think he sorta wanted her to be firm and end it because he couldn't bring himself to do it.
It is scary. He goes to Afghanistan for six months in January. I figure that will either make or break us for good. I go back to work in a couple of weeks and hope to not still be crying everyday by then.
