He has tried very hard to reconcile with me, but whenever get angry and disgusted I start to shut him out (yes, I have withheld again) I find him looking at porn or dating sites which makes me see him as the "pervert" (mean I know).
Blackwell, can you see how it seems you haven't REALLY understood or learned about your husband's feelings of rejection? Withholding got you INTO this mess; with whom do you suggest he get his sexual release, if OW and porn are both unacceptable, and you're unavailable to him?
I think you both need some good counseling, as there seems to be a LOT of resentment built up here, which is understandable.
