Hi T, I don't suggest that you respond at all until you have legal counsel. I know all the "unsaids" are dying to come out...good idea to write the email and post it here instead of sending it to H.
If OW is pushy and is forcing his hand in the writing of the emails and progression of the D, then I would not send it because she will read it...add her two cents worth and your words will be misinterpreted. Don't put yourself through all that.
I know (because H told me) that OW pushed him into filing for D so rapidly. H had to do all the work because I would not help. When I met with my L, I made it perfectly clear that I did not want a D.
None of your H's financial problems are your fault. Too bad that he has to take loans in order to support himself. He chose this way of life. A judge is not going to care (at least in my state) if H lives off credit cards and loans.
I guess all I can say is to bite your tongue for now, do not let him guilt you into settling on anything until you have a L. Tell him you have made no decisions regarding any financial or divorce matters. Say it nicely and leave it at that.
I understand how stressful this is, I have been there. Rest assured that you are the stronger one and will be the one to be ok in the long run....
It is up to H to have a relationship with the kids, you can't force it. Again, this is not your fault, and really has nothing to do with you at all.
H will begin to experience consequences with his life choices.
