Pregnant and trying to be stronger

[blindsided1]

Last Thread

Well, my last thread was about to lock up so I'm starting this one. Still Pregnant and trying to get stronger.

Forrest - you've been a really big help for me. I know that I don't do things your way. Correct me if I'm wrong, but your way. I'm getting really close to having this baby. My emotions (yes, I said the E word) ARE getting the best of me. It's extremely hard to be emotionless right now. Yesterday was a sad day for me. I felt pretty blue, but not horrible. I think it had a lot to do with lack of sleep, no contact with H and hormones. There are days when I feel really strong and refuse to put up with any crap from H. But, I bounce back and forth between those and days like yesterday.

Maybe you could suggest some specific things I could work on. I'm not always sure what you are asking/suggesting that I do. Although, I love your "to the point" posts, sometimes they are really short spurts of info and I don't always understand what you are suggesting. So, my question to you: How do you suggest I handle the sitch in the next couple weeks (keep in mind baby is coming, emotions are high)? I have resigned myself to NOT calling him. It's hard because I know he's doing the same thing. It would be easy for me to text him some info about baby or just about anything to get the conversation going. But, I'm not doing that. It DOES get me down when he doesn't contact me because I feel like he doesn't think about me. That's hard to deal with. I've been closer to this man than anyone, for the last 7 years. That is what I was dealing with yesterday. The loss of that closeness and the friendship is just that, another loss. I suppose it's a natural progression, but it still makes me sad. He used to call just to see what I was doing or how my family was or just to talk late at night. He hasn't done that in weeks. I just feel him pulling away and it makes me want to pick up the rope and tug. But, I'm NOT going to do it.

Stay with me here Forrest. There are some things that I have improved upon. I am NOT asking for H to help with things like I used to. I ask my brother. I try very hard to NOT let his crappy mood bring me down, too. I am trying to let go of the rope a little at a time. I am going to the courthouse next week to get information re custody and CS from Family Concilliation Court. Just stay with me, here.