Where do...I...go from here?

[tpaschal]

Your e-mail is full of YOU did this, YOU did that, YOU YOU YOU. What message are you trying to send? Is this e-mail more for you or your h? What are you trying to accomplish?

I see this as h let me point out all that you have done. Is that the message you want to deliver?

Well, like I said, I knew as I was writing it that it might just be one of those letters written for my own benefit that would never actually get sent.

And when I went back and re-read it, I know that I would not send it in that form.

But I do think the responsibility for all that H is blaming me for right now needs to be put back in his court.

Financial problems? Don't get a divorce.

Want the divorce anyway? You do the work for it. I can't stop it, but I won't help you out with it.

Divorce getting expensive? Don't blame me for your financial problems.

For almost 18 months he has spewed and blamed, and I am tired of being made the scapegoat for all that has happened.

I do believe that he is one of the ones who will have to actually go through with a divorce, get what he thinks he wants, before he will ever see any truths.

But my DB trained counselor advised me (after meeting with H twice) to hold out for as long as I possibly can and to make the divorce take as long as possible. I guess the C's reasoning is that not getting what he wants as fast as he wants it, and the financial difficulty, with bring H to the bottom faster. C also believes that OW is very pushy and demanding, and the longer time of her not getting what SHE wants will possibly bring about the demise of that relationship and again bring H to hitting rock bottom faster. Of course, in the meantime, H not getting what he wants when he wants it just makes him more angry and prone to spew.

And to be perfectly honest, another motivation for writing some of the things I did is because I know OW reads his email. So yeah, there's a little seed of vengeance in there.

But that's a big reason for why I posted it here first! To vent it here without needing to send it to him.

But how DO I respond instead? Any suggestions?