Worse before Better?

[Sophie]

He doesn't want to have to make a decision, he doesn't want to have to be responsible for paying bills on time, he doesn't want to have to be responsible for helping with soccer, just show up when it works for him....he just plain 'doesn't.

It's like they can't handle anything other than their job, and socializing with friends..kind of like when we were in high school, and we did our homework, and then went out to play. No one expected us to do much more than that.

If you do decide to seek legal representation, do so knowing that most lawyers will tell you that you shouldn't be in the precarious situation that you're in..and that there should be something on paper 'legally' so that your H will HAVE to carry his fair share of responsibility financially.

YES!! It feels like he has become something...somewhere between being my brother....or the teenage brother of my children (S13,S19,D8). My H justs wants to do.........nothing......or,...nothing.

I think I have been fair to take on a little more than 1/3 of the finanaces, when I gave up everything to move here to be a stay home mom. He has been paying the rest...but, irresponsibly. He knows he took on more than he could handle, financially....he knew that before he signed the lease. But, no common sense existed.

If he truly felt divorce and splitting up this family was the best for all in the long run, he would have handled it in a responsible way. He just ran...I almost spit nails when he said the day he moved out, he had MIXED FEELINGS about it!! He put us through all this damage when he had mixed feelings???! Just plain selfish.

I am at the crossroad of where I just give up on the person my H has become. I am at the crossroad of accepting that he evolved into a man I would never believe in, nor ever want to have children with.

or

This crossroad crosses the 3-5 year long highway of MLC....I don't know that I can stay on this highway anymore. Tolerance, patience and empathy are turning into....views of pathetic waste.

I didn't want a divorce. But, this man is not a family man.

He seems to have gotten worse...uglier...more distant...more withdrawn this last year. Is that how MLC goes?

When the MLCer is left alone by our detachment and the fact that we have our own lives to live...does the 'reality spirit' haunt them?

You know, when I detatch and go on about our busy lives, just focus on the kids, school, their friends, my friends, my life....eventually, he blames me, and the kids, for treating him like he is dead.