I'm not going to the party. I don't think I'll be able to enjoy myself at it, so unless I can go and be the life of the party I don't think the strategy will work very well.
I'm still unsure about gift. I'm either going to just send an email or I'll get her something nice but totally impersonal.
As I lay in bed this morning, I thought back over everything that's happened. I think W has started to open back up to me - she wants to talk, she misses it when I'm not there to discuss things with, and though she enjoys being alone and working on her career, she's starting to recognize that that alone doesn't make her happy. Her loneliness is just going to grow and she'll either start to see our relationship in a more favorable light or not. If not, it'll take her starting to date again to realize that she threw a good thing away over pettiness and misplaced emotions. And actually, deep down she knows ALL of this now because she's said it to me at one point or another.
I'm obviously still focused on her having a change of heart, but how could I ever respect and trust her if she did? I'm a hell of a lot more realistic about relationships than she is and I really think I need to be realistic about this one. I need to forget about it.
