What are we doing, where am I, where are we at?

[stillfighting]

Hello,
I’m new here on this forum and not sure I should be here or stay on the Newcomers. I am unsure because I don’t know what I and the X are doing or what I should be doing. The people over at Newcomers are great and I know you are. What we’re doing and where we are at this point with the X, I don’t know. My thread in Newcomers is named Help - I need advice fast please
She’s back home but I just don’t know what to make of it, here’s why:
To make it short, after 17 years of marriage, wife drops the bomb. The classical unhappy, never loved you, can’t be around or stand you, what about me, it’s my life and so on… Then she moves out and we end up separated and arguing for 6 months. OM pops up right after she moved out and she makes it official and doesn’t hide him anymore in Nov. This ends (if I can trust her and promises all contact has stopped) and after R talks and agreeing on what needs to change in the R and what went wrong, she comes back home. The first day/night was great. She was hugging me, kissing, sex and everything. The next it all changed and she was beck to her old behavior, this is a mistake, I regret coming back, I feel trapped, this is not what I want but still agrees to live with me and the kids as a family and she would give it a period of 6 months to try (this after talking to another expert before I discovered DB a month ago). She did have her episodes and was ready to walk again but after talking, she stays. She is not shy to remind me every now and then that she feels that this is not what she wants, it feels forced on her, she doesn’t feel good, and she’s unhappy with me and can’t imagine a future with me. Now what I wonder is what to do during this time? Her latest reminder was about 1 month ago. She is cold and resistant and I can’t even hold her hand. All I get is a hug and if I initiate it. I avoid any R talk or future plans talk so that I don’t offer her an opportunity to remind me again of her unhappiness. She doesn’t initiate any R talk neither, we just chit chat lightly and general talk. Everything else is going smoothly at home, chores, kids, she is very nice to me and so on. The last thing missing is the romance and intimacy. She is holding on to that part. She agreed to listening to this experts CD’s but hasn’t done that yet. I afraid to suggest anymore stuff to do to fix the R /M. I’m afraid it would look like I’m pursuing her and pushing her. I was told by a member over on Newcomers not to try to get her to fix the R because she is not there yet and doesn’t want to. IF I suggested to her to read this or watch that and so on, I afraid it would push her even further and makes a bigger gap but on the other hand I don’t want to blow this chance and I feel panic, and fear and feel that I need to do something to get her to understand and change her thoughts as soon as possible before this 6 month period expires and walks again, if she chooses that. Maybe she just want's to get me, family and relatives off her back and walk again. I’m so confused that I have no clue as to what to do or where I’m at or what the heck we’re doing with the R. Should I be here or over at newcomers? I was told on Newcomers to GAL and LRT. Any suggestions or feedback for me?