The more I hve distanced myself from W during this the angrier she has gotten. The more I have done for her the softer and friendlier she has become. At first I felt very manipulated and controlled by this. I often saw it as as demanding her cake and eating it too.
I now think I may have been mistaken. Due to my dysfunction w felt she was carrying the entire burden of our family for "years." She naturally was angry and resented me for that but held it in until mlc hit. She was actually angered by the major self improvements I made following our separation. Angry that someone else would get the "good" version of me.
She always responds favorably when I complement or flirt with her and do things for her.
The only time going dark may have worked was once when she spewed majorly/became violent and then I did not respond to her calls. At that time she probably thought she had gone too far and feared she had pushed me away for good.
So there is my plan. I'm going to be there for her, do things I think or know she wants done, be very complementary and flirty when possible. Every time I have texted her a flirt she has immediately responded by thanking me. If she didn't want me to she would tell me to stop or at the very least would not text her thanks.
This could prove to be a desirable double edged sword. It may make her feel more favorable toward me and it may make OM jealous at the same time. He has responded with jealousy before when I did things for her. I expect more of the same.
So is this plan over?
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
