Worse before Better?

[Sophie]

Hi Bill,

When he left he said nothing financially would be affected by his move. He is a custom woodworker and was 'planning' on side jobs to support him. Very nobel of him...but...it he tends to count chickens before they hatch.

I taught high school math for 20 years in San Diego, gave that up to move to his home state, where his family lived agreeing to be a stay home mom...so that he could 'wear the pants' and support his family.

Now, all his family has moved out of state, he left me with the kids and I have taken a job teaching math online. I now pay at least 1/3 of everything...and I pay everything for the kids. My H pays those bills that do not change...the mortgage, health insurance, electricity and car insurance. That's it. He did okay with these for a little over a year...since Nov. he has been paying those bills with late fees or to the point they are cancelled...and then he catches up. I am now working full time, but make less than him, and being a stay home mom.

In this last year, the only time he has come around is because soccer season started. I pay for the soccer teams, both boys play, I pay for equipment, trophies, snacks, etc. I get homework done so we can get to soccer, both boys at different places, different times, I get both boys to games. My H comes to the games to watch them play.

I resent that.

But, I tried having him help out....I cannot count on that, he'll cancel on me because of work. He does work alot, he has to in order to keep his place.

Our health insurance has been cancelled, and I find out when I go to the pharmacy. He pays it 1 1/2 months late with a penalty. Our electricity has been within 24 hours of being cancelled because he doesn't pay, the electricy company tries to contact him first, and he doesn't answer. So, it forces me to call him to get the bill paid.

I just don't get why he is so determined to continue like this. The only thing that has ever been cancelled, or threatened to cancel at his house is his direct tv!

Sorry to vent....or, sorry to go off on a tangent...but, I can tell you more :)...ha.

now...zero expectations...I get there sometimes...and those times feel very free.