I think she wants to be friends

[sleeper]

W has asked me the last couple of times we've talked, am I "mad at her?" , "what's wrong?" I have shrugged these questions off responding I am stressed, have a lot on my mind. The next time she asks that I will be tempted to tell her I hate her. This is a new feeling I have for her. I think before I was too hurt and in pain to feel this emotion. Now that I am much more detatched from her I am feeling great resentment for what she has done to me and the kids.

This vacation trip she and the kids are going on has brought it to a head. She's going the place we went every summer as a family. For the second time I will not be going with them albeit by my choice. I hate her for this. I told her a couple of weeks ago the worst week of my life was when I didn't go with them last summer (my choice). I still feel not going is the right thing to do as there must be some line drawn as to things not being the same as they were.

It must not bother her as much as it bothers me.

I hate her.