She started the other activities because she was missing something.
That something used to be you two together.
Life is tough that way, tends to occupy our energies to the point that we lose sight of the important things.
Look, given this, I tend to feel a bit more strongly that your wife wants to know if you are still the same guy she fell in love with and married. Because chances are you haven't been for some time. Which is not to say of course that she hasn't changed too.
I think she also wants to know if you're still willing to do the hard work of loving her. Yeah, I said hard work.
Do you remember the stuff we used to do for the women we were sweet on when we were younger. We'd change our schedules, spend money we couldn't afford, do all the crazy things like writing poems and buying mushy cards. All to show that woman how much we were in love with them.
You go dark on her now, you start being stingy with your help and availability, you are sending her precisely the message that she fears she will get. That you are no longer that guy who would try to move the world for her. That you no longer are so committed to your love and passion for her that you would do ANYTHING to prove it to her.
Now I'm not suggesting that you start writing love poems. But I do think you need to begin courting your wife, slowly but surely.
Be there for her. Be her friend, her very best friend. Care about what bothers her and what excites her, and more importantly SHOW her that you care through how you interact with her.
Do not pursue. Don't become a gushing "You know I love you with every breath of my being!" doorknob. You have to start small. The big stuff looks fake and like it won't last when she hasn't seen it in a long time.
That's why I say COURT her.
My two cents worth.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
