iamlost, Patience was never my strong suit and when I wrote that post I was feeling a little hurt, as I said back there.....before we came over to my original thread.
I just want my life back. I want to be able to plan for the future..to tell my wife how sorry I am and how much I truly love her. I want her to tell me she loves me and understands that we can make it work. I want this terrible empty feeling in my gut to go away.
The road back, when I get that chance, will be a long one I am sure, with no guarantees. For 2 months now I have replayed the things I said and did in my head over and over. Something has clicked in my brain. The things that I thought were no big deal...just comments, just words....make me cringe when I think of them.
The thought of being like that to her again makes me sick to my stomach. I only hope she can forgive and give me the opportunity to be a better person, with her at my side.
I understand the process at this point....do not pursue, period. Trust me, my needs and desires are the last thing on my mind right now, regardless of how these posts come out. I say "I" and "me" and "my", but I want "ours" and "us" and "we".....
Have to stop....I am crying at work and ready to go home....not good.
