Any women care to tell me if they wanted to be away from there husband like she does...would you still be hopping in bed every chance you got...
If she wants out of the marriage so badly, why is she dragging her feet.
K, after reading your sitch, my take is that the "don't get your hopes up" is her fear that if she allows you to get your hopes up, you will transform back into the critical guy that you were. I think you just need to keep it up and show her that your changes are real and be patient. Like you said, "I know one month will not make up for all those years."
Since you do seem impatient and slightly frustrated with her ("don't get my hopes up BS") I think considering a little bit now how to make them sustainable and not backtrack is a good idea, too. You questioned if you could, and I wonder if you've thought about: What will you do when you get to the point of piecing your marriage back together and conflict arises?
I've been trying to learn about this myself--I've been reading about "healthy complaining" as an alternative to criticism in 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage. They define healthy complaints as expressing your needs in a way that is clear and respectful and without blame. These are examples on pages 26 & 27:
Share responsibility for the problem (let's fix this together vs. it's your fault)
Describe the problem in terms of your opinion, perception or style (I feel..., I think...vs. describing the problem as an absolute truth)
Focus only on one specific problem at a time
Focus on the present (vs. bringing up the past)
Focus on partner's actions and how those actions made you feel (vs. criticizing your partner's personality or character)
Pick a time to bring it up when your partner is able to listen and respond (vs. when they are distracted or stressed)
Tell partner about your needs and desires (vs. becoming resentful)
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
