L2, Enjoy your S's graduation and the trip to Ireland. Put all of the negative thoughts away and enjoy this time for what it is, a huge milestone in your and your S's life. Whatever comes next will come, the only way to influence it is by your actions in the present...and it isn't usually very clear how. So...carpe diem!
SD.
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
Tomorrow is the day!! We head off on our trip to Ireland, and various points on the continent!!!
SuperDad has given me some very valuable words to live by over the next couple of weeks...
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Put all of the negative thoughts away and enjoy this time for what it is, a huge milestone in your and your S's life. Whatever comes next will come
I had a good IC session yesterday...and my PMA is good. I'm feeling a reasonable amount of loving detachment from H right now; my focus is on getting the most out of this trip.
However, any and all positive vibes/thoughts/prayers sent this way are welcome!!
Make sure you take a raincoat, Ireland is green for a reason! Have a wonderful time and may all the Irish blessings come to you on the journey you have just begun. kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thanks so much!! The Ireland part of this is particularly special to all of us...we lived in Galway for 6 months back in 2006, it was an amazing experience, I would move there in a heartbeat!! And yes, we all have very good rain jackets...as you could guess, the forecast is for showers every day!!! Liquid sunshine...
H and I took the girls to Disney in February. We were both nervous about it but it was amazing. I wouldn't trade that family time for anything. I went in with loving detachment and had a great time, as did everyone.
I bet this is going to be a great trip for you, as I recall the last one you took together was as well.
It just crossed my mind that the OW must be going a little crazy right now thinking of you two leaving for 2 wks together & that may be why all that emotion was stepped up lately. He probably had to do a lot of reassuring beforehand.
I'll be thinking of you & sending "happy vibes" your way.
See you in a couple of weeks....keep up the PMA....happy, happy all the way....
Well, I am back, all safe and sound, and none the worse for wear. The trip itself was beautiful/amazing/breathtaking... at least for me, on my own level. It also had its bittersweet moments; while H and I both so love this kind of travel, he was quite the d!ck a number of times about stupid things, like when we had temporary trouble with directions and somehow I was just bad for not being omniscient (almost like he was trying to pick a fight). And I found myself thinking/feeling during those times just why would I want to be with someone who acted like this toward me? I am also reading Eat, Pray, Love, and parts of it were very centering, and helped me to be still during those times.
So, for the most part, I handled those episodes pretty well; however, I also p!ssed H off when I stumbled into some passive/aggressive behavior by being less than enthusiastic about him buying himself a small leather wallet (my thought being he didn't need it, and we were getting hammered on costs due to the exchange rate...)and it was only about $15... not my best moment. So I apologized for acting dumb about that; and it later occurred to me that H never once said sorry for being such an a*s.
For the most part, though, it was a great experience...and i felt good about how hard i had worked to contribute toward a good experience for all of us...
And so now, we'll see what happens...
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It just crossed my mind that the OW must be going a little crazy right now thinking of you two leaving for 2 wks together & that may be why all that emotion was stepped up lately. He probably had to do a lot of reassuring beforehand.
Sunny, as I mentioned to you on your thread, ya know it's funny...I guess because I just can't see myself ever being in that kind of situation, it's very hard for me to imagine that H would be deceptive in his R with OW (although that's probably a pretty naive way of thinking...). H was definitely anxious to find internet cafes to 'check his email' much more frequently than on any other trip we've been on...
ANother interesting observation; on our last full day of vacation (a beautiful day in the Swiss Alps, no less...) H said several times how much he didn't want to go home. I can guess why; reality will bite him hard if/when he moves forward with his plan to move out...
So it's time to start giving some real thought to what's coming next...But whatever that my be, it was a h@ll of a last hurrah!!
Soooo...was there intimacy/closeness? Did you feel a pull towards your H (minus the borish behavior!), did he seem drawn to you when you were most centered and peaceful?
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So it's time to start giving some real thought to what's coming next...But whatever that my be, it was a h@ll of a last hurrah!!
Sounds like you won't ever regret your trip, no matter what happens with you and H. This is exactly how I feel about our trip to Disney in February. Good things!!
I am also reading Eat, Pray, Love, and parts of it were very centering, and helped me to be still during those times.
Me too! There are so many parts of that book that are relevant, aren't there.
Considering traveling w/anyone is challenging, traveling w/ a H who's looking for a fight has to be beyond tricky. You did an excellent job of sidestepping him & enjoying the trip regardless.
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on our last full day of vacation (a beautiful day in the Swiss Alps, no less...) H said several times how much he didn't want to go home.
Sounds like he's really eager to get back when he knows there's going to be lot's of pressure to "put up" now, & we know how everyone just loves pressure!
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it's very hard for me to imagine that H would be deceptive in his R with OW
Funny, it's not hard for me at all. Having an affair is one thing, the reality of actually turning your life upsidedown to be with that person is another.
We'll see, inanycase, you did the perfect thing, made it a trip free of regrets.
