It's frustrating for sure to get an email which seems to be written as though nothing happened, but the fact is that something majorly different DID happen on Friday. He has not forgotten about it, I am sure. I would tend to see it in the spirit of wanting to maintain some kind of contact with you that is safe...a way perhaps of saying "I'm still here" to you as he goes through his process. I can totally understand that it feels unfulfilling and that after such an emotionally open experience, one would hope for some degree of sustained intimacy. It is really hard to know what is happening inside. I think it is very okay for you to be feeling a bit confused or unsure on what is next. Yes, some space is a good thing, and, as has already been well suggested, use here as the place to vent!
Oh thanks guys- you're the best! I'm so lucky to have you!
You're right- I should give him space and leave him to it. For some reason it's just hard this week. I was thinking, though- it's like digging for treasure, and not knowing whether there's anything buried there. You dig carefully with a trowel for ages, and then you see a coin (how exciting!). But instead of doing what I should do (which is keep digging patiently with my trowel), I want to get a big digger and hoik all the dirt out, coins and all! Silly me. Stick to my trowel. That's probably a bad analagy, but I'm working on it.
Can I ask you guys- do you think that while H is doing his thinking and working out what he wants I should back off, or should I just respond to his contacts in kind? I was thinking earlier that his cousins wedding next week might be hard for him. (He said it wouldn't be the same without me there when we were out on Friday, and it's the first wedding he'll have been to since we got married, as well as the first big family occassion without Grandma). So I'd like to be a friend, but at the same time I don't want to be in touch with him too much if he needs to be alone in his cave.
((((hugs all)))). Purr- I must come and visit you- I know you've had a hard time the past few days.
In other news, I went shopping with a friend today and she started telling me how she's having all these feelings for another man and thinking of leaving her long term BF because they've lost the 'spark'. Needless to say, I was not supportive of a decision to leave, and recommended Mars/Venus, LL and DB! Lots of reading for her! I also managed to get a nice little dress and a couple of tops, which was good- useful for sunny days, if they ever come.
Me too. VS and a top form Diesel. Need to watch my weight this month, I am attacking chocolate wherever I see it.
Lisa, follow your instict and let him lead. See what he wants from you. Why should you dim now? You have no reason. His famous last words were "I'll sort it out", sounded like a promise to me... K
Exchanged a couple of e-mails with H today. His first seemed a bit subdued. He complained again about his work being so quiet. I wonder if he's not enjoying it, or if he's lonely there. He also told me a bit about some stuff on TV he watched, and asked about how things were going at my work.
I responded with a light, breezy e-mail telling him how things were going at work. It was short compared to his e-mail, but I took a chance and asked if he'd like to pop by to my office one day next week, or I could take him for lunch.
He replied saying that lunch would be good on Tuesday, so I think we'll do that. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do to suggest it, but I got the impression that he gets bored/lonely during the day and asked with no expectations. I was surprised when he suggested Tuesday to be honest.
The e-mails seem a bit subdued and impersonal in a way, although maybe I'm overinterpreting. Yesterday he did ask me some questions in his message, although not so much today. Sigh. I wish I could help him feel better. I wish he'd be happy. And I wish this was all sorted out.
Had a nice day at work- went out for Thai food for lunch (delicious) and we went for a couple of drinks after work aswell. There's a new girl starting at our office the week after next and she popped in today. She seems really nice- hopefully we'll get on.
((((((Lisa)))))) I wonder, could he be suffering from a bit of aubergine withdrawal? It might not be a bad thing that he a a bit lonely at work right now. He'll make some friends, in time.
