Well, H called a couple of times before he got home last night. He talked about what to have for dinner, taking D4 to the park....etc. When he got home, he changed & we took D4 to the park. After getting home, he made dinner & then took his pillows into the bedroom??!!?? I got D4 situated and did a few things for myself. I went to bed and woke to find H cuddled up to me! I swear, this man does not know what he's doing. He hasn't slept in our room in a LONG time. D4 now calls it "mommy's room". He didn't try anything, just held me. Boy, does that throw my emotions into a whirlwind when he does that. Why do that when you're ready to go live with your soul mate & the love you've always waited for? Not one word from H about his plans or working on sorting things out with what we both need to do or take to make the split work and work peacefully.
D4 woke up at 5:00 this morning & came into the bedroom. She crashed out and I got up shortly after for work. I sat there just looking at them.
Last night on the way home D4 said to me.....boy mommy, if we had a baby, we'd be one big family then! I just started to cry. She asked me why I was crying. I just told her that sometimes mommy can't always give her what she wants and that makes mommy sad. She was so cute. She said, I'll give you a big smile and that will make you happy again mommy.
Note to Self: Okay Sue, time to buckle down and get some work done today. Time to remember that your H, intentionally or unintentionally, easily plays with your emotions by coming close whenever you seem to be detaching and breaking the bonds. Your H has, in all but the "address" sense, left you for OW. Your H does still love you, but is not in love with you. Your H has said far to many things and done to many things to turn back now. You know it's hard, but keep pluggin' away, you'll be fine! **************************************************************
Have a good day everyone!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Note to Self: Okay Sue, time to buckle down and get some work done today. Time to remember that your H, intentionally or unintentionally, easily plays with your emotions by coming close whenever you seem to be detaching and breaking the bonds. Your H has, in all but the "address" sense, left you for OW. Your H does still love you, but is not in love with you. Your H has said far to many things and done to many things to turn back now. You know it's hard, but keep pluggin' away, you'll be fine! **************************************************************
That sounds like pretty smart advice, Sue. Sorry to hear you're struggling.
Thanks for stopping by. I'm doing a bit better this afternoon. My morning was a struggle to get through. Just a lot of thoughts running through my mind and my feeling of being in control waffled a bit for a moment too. My D4 called me and cheered me up a bit though. Amazing how she has a way of doing that.
lwb & yoyo- I didn't send my thanks to you for your notes before. You know I appreciate you both!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Well, H came home last night after work and got all dressed to go work out. He ate something and then sat watching baseball. I'd noticed that he'd moved his pillows back out to the futon from our bedroom. After eating, he got up and changed back out of his workout clothes and put some shorts on he sleeps in. He grabbed his pillows from the futon and came back into the bedroom. Again, last night, he wanted to hold me.
I emailed him a question regarding D4 early this afternoon to which he did respond. Just a few minutes ago, he called me. He asked what my plans were for the weekend. He's working on Sat., and then may play golf. However, he wanted to know if D4 and I would want to get up early on Sun. and go grocery shopping with him. He also asked if I'd be interested in getting a movie tomorrow. He suggested we pick up take out for dinner.
H left his phone at home yesterday, did not pick it up at all last night and did not get on the computer at all last night either.
What is going on with my H. Is he being nice to keep me in his sights and so he doesn't lose control? Is he at ease now that I had an honest talk with him (okay...it was me talking, not him) and thinks that all is okay for him to get close to me since I'm okay with and have agreed to the split? WHAT???
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I think these men clearly enjoy being wanted by 2 women. When one loses interest, they do try to draw you back. It hurts to be rejected, even you have been rejecting the rejector for a long time. Human nature.
Thanks for the quick responses. I don't think he's alone. He's still in contact with OW and has been on his email. Who knows, I could get home tonight and look at the computer and it could show me that things with them are still in forward motion. I could be jumping to MAJOR conclusions on what's going on in his world. It wouldn't be the first time that H has wanted to spend time with me or try to be with me intimately while all the time still very involved with OW.
One thing I need to talk to my H about is that.....I got an apartment. It's for an Aug. 1st move in. They called me today and said that all is good to go. I sign my lease on Saturday. It's smaller than what I'm in now, but with just D4 and I, that's all we need. It has 95% of the amenities that I want and it actually has a great move-in special right now which cuts my rent down to an even better price than I'd expected.
So, let's see how the next few days go.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I think he's going to be surprised that you are so prepared to live without him. He thought you needed his special brand of aggravation to keep your world rockin'.
