Thought this might be a better area to get some feedback about my wife, but really don't know if I can consider her a walk away wife.
I have been posting here and there, looking for info and advice, so my stories are all over the place I think.
My first post is down there if anyone wants to see my story, but I will summarize a little, because it is a long one.
If there are any walkaway wives who would like to actually read it and offer their opinion, that would be great. I think that is what I really need at this point is a perspective from the other side, although the feedback from the guys has been positive on the other threads.
Everyone says to relax and enjoy, because things seem so good, but you know how hard that is....always looking to make sure the direction is the correct one....and of course there are the don't get your hopes up reminders from my wife.
The short version is; she is still here after the talk, which was 2 months ago. She is not going anywhere, no matter what comes of all this. We agreed to work towards a separation, by getting all of our financial affairs in order, finishing up some work on our house, and basically having an amicable, friendly relationship. She was adamant about not working on the marriage, and I agreed to not fight her.
I want her to stay in our house when all is said and done. We have an 18y old daughter (and a dog + 4 cats), that I do not want to see uprooted, was my reasoning to her. Keep the house as a home base and when this comes to pass, I will get out and figure things out on my own. The only time table I ever got out of her was "A year would be too long".
So I guess my question is, should I be treating her more like a walkaway spouse, even though she is in no hurry to walk away?
Should I be distancing myself and showing that I "want to get on with my life"?
If you read my other posts, you will see that really nothing has changed since I first found this site.
We are still together in the same house, still having fun, drinking and partying every chance we get.....just got back from a 3 day getaway that she has been telling everyone "was amazing". Planning another a few weeks from now.
Is this wrong? She really never refuses me, no matter what I suggest we do.
Having received the "don't get you hopes up" talk as recently as yesterday, our first full day back from the amazing weekend, I know she is still, in her mind, on track to be apart.
There is very little awkwardness in our conversations like there was in the beginning, we are having sex on a regular basis (always did really), which at times she has also described to me as amazing....it happens mostly when we are partying, but it is not like she doesn't know what she is doing, or I am taking advantage of the situation...quite the contrary I think.
Right from the beginning this has all confused the hell out of me. I have made some drastic changes in myself....personality wise. As noted in my story, I will be the first to admit that I was out of hand and not being a very nice guy.
I know I will most likely get the "relax and enjoy the ride" comments that I have before, but if anyone wants to chime in with a different perspective, please do.
Any wives out there that have been there and back? Any guys out there with walk away wives that never left? or walked away so slowly you didn't notice??
Does anyone actually think that we should not be doing the things we are doing together?
Should I "get a life", even if she does not make a move to be away from me, and at times goes out of her way to spend more time with me? Does that make any sense?
