Trying Hard to Detach

[addie]

I found out that my W has been battling a chronic and painful health issue that has caused much of the irritablility and anger.

At least now you know the reason behind all her irritability. It's not just due to the R. You handled it very well with your support.

You can suggest that she may want to put the D on hold and then leave it alone and don't bring it up again. It has to be her decision.