I have been in SSM for about 6 years. It happened slowly with the birth of children, a death in the family and other daily chores that became more important than being close. The lack of sex and intimacy brought on lots of resentment and anger in our marriage and before long neither of us had the urge to be together sexually anymore. I thought we had made a non-verbal agreement to just live this way and was OK with it, apparently he felt rejected and was starting to hate me. About a year ago my H had an affair and said it was only for the sex since he wasn't getting any at home. I have a hard believing that purely lack of sex will drive a man to cheat. I cannot get over his lying to me and feel that a sexless marriage is just his excuse. I believe he has a lack of morals and immaturity to go outside the marriage and then blame it on me without discussing it maturely. My H says he is very sorry and deeply wants to work on marriage and strangely our sex life is now better than ever. I think we have both awakened to our sexuality again, but I just cant help to see him as a sick perverted person now who is obsessed with other women. The way he acted and the language he used are so unlike anything I have ever known from him (20+) years. I am curious to know how men really feel when they are rejected and does it really make them so desperate that they are willing to give up your wife and children just to have sex???????????
