He's "done". Period.

[naya26]

Chris - congrats on your first day of true progress! Build on it and each day will get easier. Detaching is absolutely critical. I bet your H felt more at ease for a day because you didn't have any R talk. Focus on YOU.

You are going to feel rushed because your heart is still "shocked" and recovering from the bomb your H dropped on you. It's natural to feel that way and it too will pass with time. Make a list of the things you want to work on to help maintain your focus. The list will help tremendously because the emotional rollercoaster you're currently on will tug at your focus and often you will have to fight yourself to stay on target. Set some shor-term goals and pat yourself on the back when you acheive each one. It will greatly help your confidence and motivate you to continue on. Remember...the ONLY thing you can truly change is YOU. Therefore, focus all your energy on YOU and you'll be amazed what you can do.

As for the in-laws...that's a tricky one. In the midst of my crisis, I had a major breakdown and went and saw my in-laws. They were somewhat clued in on the problems the W and I were having but had no idea the severity. I told them as much as I could but they didn't offer much advice because they were in partial shock and they don't have a healthy marriage so they weren't exactly "experts". I think the best thing to do is be honest and keep it simple. Let them know you love your H and you are committed to the M. Do not complain or speak negatively about your H in any way. Do not ask them what you should do because any advice they give you will always be biased...afterall, your H is their son.