Chris, I took the ADs for about a month and a half. They helped to mellow me out. The low sex drive is a side effect. They made me feel kind of jittery and kind of made my heart race so I quit taking them. I think they can be helpful to take short term, but I also think you need a really good doctor that isn't just handing them out to everyone and is monitoring the effects of them.

So yesterday my brother called me asking for money. He is 33 and he is going through something right now. I suspect he is on drugs, he suddenly can't hold a job and is just doing things out of character. He doesn't live here, he said he was about to be evicted from his apartment. I felt sorry for him but at the same time, he has done some really shady things lately and also my dad has already given him a lot of money...so I don't want to enable him.

Anyway, I emailed H because I needed someone to talk to. He said we could go to lunch today and talk. He even offered to come to work and pick me up which I thought was nice. He actually gave me some REALLY good advice regarding my brother. It was really nice that he was there for me. We also had just really good convo in general and laughed a lot.

H and I have a problem when it comes to riding in the same car together. We always have. He is very defensive. I get a bit nervous sometimes and that drives him crazy so I have done a 180 and don't say anything. Well today when we were leaving the restaurant he did something and I kind of jumped a little but I didn't say anything. He said "Oh...you so wanted to say something." I said "Well, I didn't, I have turned over a new leaf" We laughed about it and he said "seriously if I do something that scares you then tell me." I said "Nope, you get mad, I refuse to say anything anymore." He said "Well, we have always gotten through it before, so I don't think you should hold in your feelings because of me, I probably just get mad because you are right and I am wrong" \:\)

We also fight about directions (maybe we should just stay out of cars!) So we started talking about that. I said "I can't win, if I tell you where to turn then you say "I KNOW WHERE TO TURN!!" if I don't tell you where to turn then you say "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME WHERE TO TURN?" He said "I know, and I don't know why I do that...but maybe you should try saying "Do you remember where to turn?" lol, I guess that would be trying something different, so I will try that in the future.

So then H says, "well, if arguing about driving and directions is our biggest problem...then I think we are doing ok." I said "ummmm H....I don't think that's our biggest problem" He said "oh yeah, I guess your right about that". It was almost like in those moments we were cutting up and lauging he forgot about everything.

When I was getting out of the car he leaned over and kissed me. He said "were you wondering if I was gonna do that?" I said "yeah, kinda" Then I got another kiss, whooo hooo! All in all a great lunch. Things are still on the upswing for now.

Kris