Sounds like you've had a lot of happy times recently Kris. That's great. I am on AD (I'm assuming anti depressants correct?) right now for the first time in my life, so it's interesting reading about this possible side effect. I'll have to pay attention more. Whatever it is, I'm glad that things are going so well.
Enjoy, Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
Chris, I took the ADs for about a month and a half. They helped to mellow me out. The low sex drive is a side effect. They made me feel kind of jittery and kind of made my heart race so I quit taking them. I think they can be helpful to take short term, but I also think you need a really good doctor that isn't just handing them out to everyone and is monitoring the effects of them.
So yesterday my brother called me asking for money. He is 33 and he is going through something right now. I suspect he is on drugs, he suddenly can't hold a job and is just doing things out of character. He doesn't live here, he said he was about to be evicted from his apartment. I felt sorry for him but at the same time, he has done some really shady things lately and also my dad has already given him a lot of money...so I don't want to enable him.
Anyway, I emailed H because I needed someone to talk to. He said we could go to lunch today and talk. He even offered to come to work and pick me up which I thought was nice. He actually gave me some REALLY good advice regarding my brother. It was really nice that he was there for me. We also had just really good convo in general and laughed a lot.
H and I have a problem when it comes to riding in the same car together. We always have. He is very defensive. I get a bit nervous sometimes and that drives him crazy so I have done a 180 and don't say anything. Well today when we were leaving the restaurant he did something and I kind of jumped a little but I didn't say anything. He said "Oh...you so wanted to say something." I said "Well, I didn't, I have turned over a new leaf" We laughed about it and he said "seriously if I do something that scares you then tell me." I said "Nope, you get mad, I refuse to say anything anymore." He said "Well, we have always gotten through it before, so I don't think you should hold in your feelings because of me, I probably just get mad because you are right and I am wrong"
We also fight about directions (maybe we should just stay out of cars!) So we started talking about that. I said "I can't win, if I tell you where to turn then you say "I KNOW WHERE TO TURN!!" if I don't tell you where to turn then you say "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME WHERE TO TURN?" He said "I know, and I don't know why I do that...but maybe you should try saying "Do you remember where to turn?" lol, I guess that would be trying something different, so I will try that in the future.
So then H says, "well, if arguing about driving and directions is our biggest problem...then I think we are doing ok." I said "ummmm H....I don't think that's our biggest problem" He said "oh yeah, I guess your right about that". It was almost like in those moments we were cutting up and lauging he forgot about everything.
When I was getting out of the car he leaned over and kissed me. He said "were you wondering if I was gonna do that?" I said "yeah, kinda" Then I got another kiss, whooo hooo! All in all a great lunch. Things are still on the upswing for now.
Well, hopefully my brother is under control for the moment, H really did give me some good advice about that.
I thought we had some good R stuff too, good that we can laugh and discuss thing that we usually fight about.
Oh yeah, when H was dropping me off he pulled up to the door. I got out and walked around the front of the car, right when I did it I thought....opps, should have went around the back. H ALWAYS used to fuss at me for that, he says you risk getting hit if you go around the front. So I looked at him, knew what he was thinking and laughed. He rolled down the window and jokingly fussed at me. We were both laughing pretty hard, I think because we both knew what the other was thinking before it was even said. Some guys that I work with walked by and said "Wow, you two are having ENTIRELY too much fun"
Anyway all the laughing today was good for both of us. I bet I way more fun than that trashy dj!!!
I am SO tired! H asked me to come over last night and watch Lost, but I was out with friends so I told him that. He didn't text me until almost 9:00 last night though and it came on at 8:00....he didn't know that, lol. I had recorded it so maybe we can watch it together today.
Anyway, I did stop by there on my way home....and ended up staying the night. We didn't go to bed until about 1:00 so now I can barely hold my eyes open. I am one that needs my 8 hours!
I am going to my friend's bachelorette party tomorrow night. I have to drive about 3 hours...so I'm not looking forward to that, but we'll have fun.
Although it wasn't ILYBINILWY (that came later), or even asking for a separation. It was the day that my suspicions started. I feel like H literally changed from one day to the next.
H had been weird all day and he was in a play at the time that OW was helping with. That day he called and told me that he was going to lunch with some guys from work. He had never done that...always asked me to come even if it was just the guys. Then when he came home he said that one of the guys had forgotten his wallet so he had to buy him lunch. That was when I suspected something was weird. When I went to see him in it that night I hugged him afterword and he pulled away. I knew something was wrong right then.
Just really weird behaviour that day, and then when I looked back on the phone records that was the day the phone calls and texts started. It literally went from nothing at all to about 10 to 15 calls a day and a few dozen texts a day. That is just so strange to me.
Although, now that I am thinking about it...that was the last weekend of the play. He had been practicing/performing for about 2 months. I guess they didn't have to call each other so much because they saw each other for a few hours every night....and it was winding down...so maybe that is why the phone calls started so strongly.
Anyway, I am almost positive that H won't remember that date. Just getting close to it gets me to thinking about it. I can't believe it has been almost a year since all this started.
That's my H's birthday. At least it'll be easy to remember lol.
Originally Posted By: klm
I can't believe it has been almost a year since all this started.
It's same for me too. This time last year, H and OW had a lab together and were going to lunch and out drinking regularly. But they were "just friends". For me, the date is June 23rd. That was when he started acting weird, and it turned out that was when they first slept together - while I left them alone in our apartment for a few hours. After that it was just a matter of putting the pieces together - him taking her out for her 21st birthday the next week and refusing to let me go, them calling and IMing all the time and then the e-mails. It seems like there is no way it could have been a year ago, and yet it also seems like it has been 10 years because so much has happened.
I wonder if my H even remembers other than some vague recollection that it was before their birthdays? *sighs*
OTOH, you have come a long way in the last year. So has your H.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I said "ummmm H....I don't think that's our biggest problem" He said "oh yeah, I guess your right about that". It was almost like in those moments we were cutting up and lauging he forgot about everything. 
All in all a great lunch. Things are still on the upswing for now.
After that it was just a matter of putting the pieces together - him taking her out for her 21st birthday the next week and refusing to let me go, them calling and IMing all the time and then the e-mails. It seems like there is no way it could have been a year ago, and yet it also seems like it has been 10 years because so much has happened.