I agree I can't get over eager, here's a rough draft of my reply, any input or suggestions are welcome, it hasn't been sent yet!: here it is...
"Hey, got your message and checked my email this morning. Good to hear from you. I miss everybody too and am glad their Dad's taking good care of them. To answer your question, I am still not sure when my move back date will be but my apartment isn't expected to be ready until at least July 1. So, about one more month here. I'll try to make sure to help w/dog supplies. Thanks for the photos! I stared at them for quite a while, missing my first love( the river). That was very sweet of you. I think in my new apartment I'll have a skyline photo, I never get tired of looking at it. I definitely hear what your saying about starting over, it sounds like we're on the same page. I agree with you that we just have to see where things go since so much has changed. Nobody's perfect, & we all have things about ourselves we don't like I guess so I understand where you are coming from. I'm sorry work sucks but it seems like you have a good lead on some other stuff. You'll do well at anything with sales that's for sure. I sent you an empty envelope for my book and any mail I may have, it's from a couple of days ago; I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it over to the house June2nd since I'm still waiting for Natasha to get back with me about the car. Anyway, have a good day, & I'll talk to you later..."
OKAY...THIS IS WHAT I ENDED UP SENDING H AS A REPLY:... "I got your message and checked my email this morning. Good to hear from you. I miss my kids too and am glad their Dad's taking good care of them. To answer your question, I am still not sure when my move back date will be but my apartment isn't expected to be ready until at least July 1. So, about one more month here I think. Thanks for the photos! I stared at them for quite a while, missing my first love( the river). That was very sweet of you. I think in my new apartment I should hang up a photo of the skyline since I never get tired of looking at it. I definitely hear what your saying about starting over, it sounds like we're on the same page. I agree with you that we just have to see where things go. Nobody's perfect, & we all have things about ourselves we don't like so I understand where you are coming from. I'm sorry work sucks but it seems like you have a good lead on some other stuff. You'll do well at anything with sales that's for sure. Sales is a very strong point for you; a gift. I sent you an empty envelope for my book and any mail I may have, it's from a couple of days ago; I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it over to the house June2nd since I'm still waiting for Natasha to get back with me about the car. Anyway, have a good day, I'm glad you're doing well & I'll talk to you later..." Deb ..............THATS IT! TRIED NOT TO LINGER ON THE "STARTING OVER" STUFF AND TRIED TO KEEP THE FOCUS ON HIM NOT ME OR US. COMMENTS? SUGGESTIONS? LET ME HAVE IT!
Yes I agree with Tomato, like some of us said before, this is the time when a lot of the spouses jump on the band wagon and then the spouse who has dipped his toe in pulls back. So it's important for you to not write back right away and think this through and respond in a day or two or three.
"When do you expect to move back down?" What does he mean by this?
Did he leave you or did you leave him? (I thought he left you, but did you move away?)
Yes, thats true about the quick response. To answer your question about H wanting to know when I'll move back; I actually left our home last Sept. even though he "left" the relationship simply b/c I couldn't afford the house payments and he wasn't in a hurry to find his own place. I couldn't handle the fights and emotional pain so I kind of had to leave. I then had to take medical leave for my depression and due to lower disablility payments as income I couldn't afford my apartment anymore. I basically moved to my Mom's out of state until I go back to work which will be early July. I made arrangements to get a new apartment once I get back on my feet. H is just wanting to know how long I plan to be at my Moms. He's taking care of my dog right now. This is the first time we've been this far apart geographically. Hope that answers your question.
Oh and as for the medical leave, I've only been on that for two months. Prior to that, I was working full time and living 5 minutes up the road from H.
Good job on the email. Just enough to tell him that the interest is not gone, but that there needs to be work in order to proceed. You are on the right path, my friend, and I am so happy for you.
In Him all things are possible.
I am praying faithfully and am hoping that God will work for change in both me and my H, change that will facillitate a reconciliation. I will also continue to pray for the healing that is occuring for you and H.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
"To answer your question about H wanting to know when I'll move back; I actually left our home last Sept. even though he "left" the relationship"
This was the best thing you could have done. He learned fast what life was like without you.
Just let him "lead" you. Don't be there to answer his texts and emails so fast. Let him want to move up to the phone because he hasn't heard from you enough.
Thanks tink, I agree about taking longer to respond next time. At least I waited till morning, that's a small improvement; normally I would've been on it at midnight. (baby steps). The DB encouragement is helping me SOOOO much.
