Late in the Game-thread 6, maybe last in separated

[cw68]

Sara, you're so right. That's why I'm dark. He needs to feel this, he needs to see how the kids feel this. I've been feeling it for a long while, nothing new for me.

I told him tonight that we need space. That I'm not canceling the Retro reservation should he change his mind about making an attempt to work on us with an open mind and an open heart. I still have July 14 as my d-day with serving papers. 44 days to act "as if" I'm all fine and dandy and don't need him. That's easy. I know I don't "need" him, but I'm not all fine and dandy.

I told my sister today that I just want to jump ahead one year, because I know regardless of where this goes, I'll be in a better place one year from now. She totally understood because 13 months ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time.

[Sara]

I'm sorry to hear about your sister's diagnosis. My sister also had breast cancer. So far she is still cancer-free. I hope your sister is doing alright. In the grand scheme of things, there are worse things than having a difficult husband.

[Sara]

You should talk to Yoyowife. Her husband is like yours. Interested one day, gone the next. But she goes dark and he comes back everytime.

[cw68]

She is cancer-free. She is also ovary-free and boobie-free. This was her second battle with the disease; she had been cancer free for nine years prior.

I HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. I hate my kids' future. I hate my H. For the first time, I really hate him.

[cw68]

I'm at such a loss right now. There is this big huge hole in my heart and in the hope for my kids and my family.

[Virtually_Handsome]

((((((((cw))))))))

Take care of cw today. I could spout more cliches, but I think that's the best one!

[MichelleLT]

(((cw))) Hang in there. You and the kids will be fine, regardless of what H does or doesn't do.

[newnamenewlife]

I'm at such a loss right now. There is this big huge hole in my heart and in the hope for my kids and my family.

I know exactly how you feel, CW. (Read my epic on my thread). There are these feelings of relief at times--of moving on, of getting out of limbo--but ultimately the pain and the sense of regret and failure are overwhelming.