There may, indeed, be NOTHING you can do. And I'll admit, I only started following your sitch within the last 30 days or so. But you seem to have a completely fatalistic attitude that you can do ANYTHING whatsoever.
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What can I do ??? I'm not going to put up with there being a OM
I'm not saying you SHOULD put up with it. You know from reading my stuff that I'm as hard-core as they come on that. When was the last time you asked her "is this really what you want to do?" When was the last time you said "I won't tolerate a third person in our marriage. When are you going to stop this insanity and come back and work at this; is running away what you REALLY want to teach your children?"
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What can I do ??? my W doesn't love me
In her current fogged-out state, I'm sure it seems that she doesn't. But I don't think this is the real "her", either. What can you do? You can fight for her, with everything you got, instead of just saying "there's nothing I can do."
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What can I do ??? my W is in love with someone else
Oh please. Do you REALLY think she's in love with him? Or is it some fogged-out lust? Do you REALLY think this guy is the best thing for her?
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What can I do ??? my W cannot handle the chaos of 4 kids
You've been married for 10 years. At what point did YOU (not her) come to the conclusion that she's an incapable mother?
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What can I do ??? my W screams at the children
Totally unacceptable, I agree.
Jeff, I KNOW you're tired, and you may not have ANY good options here. Few of us do/did. I just want you to consider what you're going to tell your wife -- or your kids -- 10 years from now, when they ask you "Why didn't you try to stop me/her?"
If you can honestly say you did everything you could, then OK. And again, maybe it IS just me, but I get this weird vibe from you almost like you're "daring" her to screw up her life. Like underneath your "I'm going to love everyone I meet" exterior you are SEETHING inside (it oozes from between the lines of some of your posts), but rather than trying to channel that righteous indignation (and you have EVERY RIGHT to be righteously indignant!!!) into one last-ditch attempt at salvaging your marriage, you've instead gone into "don'tchiveachit" mode.
