Well lets start this off by answering tink. I moved out of the house and she stayed with the kids. Basically I was given the choice of I move out or she does. Well with the house payment and utilities there was no way I could afford that working part time. Also I did not want to uproot the kids because they love the house and the area. As for the reasoning behind all this is because I became so distant in the relationship and as bworl stated I became secure that the marriage would always be there. I became lazy and would procrastinate alot on things around the house and would wait on the bills.
As for the fighting bit, we really never fought alot. We would have our arguments here and there but never really worked them out. If it was something major and we hurt each other verbally we would say our sorries and then sweep it under the rug. And the way she told me that she wanted the D was in the car ride home from seeing my friend. She asked if I wanted a divorce and to which I replied no of course and then nothing was said again until that friday. We went out to TGI Fridays(hate that place now!!) because we were not talking and you could cut the tension between us with a knife. She then told me that she wanted a divorce.
Now to bworl my wife keeps the kid at nights. Me working nights was only because it worked with my school schedule and when I started school my son was not yet in Kindergarden so I was a stay home dad, went to school in the evenings, and then work at nights. I graduate in February so I don't have much longer.
As for me having a 15D she is actually my step-daughter from my wifes previous marriage but I consider her mine since I have been around her since she was 2.
As for going dark I kind of want to but in the same manner I want to be her friend. That is what I want to do right now is start over with a friendship and work from there. But I dont want to seem pushy or smother her, I want to ask her to maybe do a movie, as friends, and then maybe go from there. Any thoughts as how I should approach this?
And for the whole cheating part I think that was me just being paranoid(I hope) because she pleaded with me that she would never do that. My wife is a horrible liar and %99 of the time when she is lying she becomes really defensive and will not make eye contact. This time she told me to look in her eyes and she calmly told me there was no one else.
Racefan you are absolutely right that it is a heck of a rollercoaster. And my goal here is to become the person she fell in love with 12 years ago. I know I can do it and I am willing to do whatever it takes to get there because I am not happy at all with the person I have become. I already see some changes happening in the way my attitude is coming along and I have to take it one change at a time because my list is long and I add to it daily it seems.
Thank you very much for being here. You guys are the best and it really helps me "talking" on here and learning from all of you. Now I wish they would finally send my books, it has been a month and they shipped out on the 12th...hmmmm. And as always tink TY for being my lifeline!!!
