W probably thinks she is doing activities with you when she comes over and spends hours having long talks with you. That is how you connect, and her emails show her inner conflict and confusion.

IMO you are missing a great opportunity if you opt out of the birthday party. Awkward yes, but OHSOMUCH fun you could have!!! \:o ;\) When is this party?

Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.