It didn't take long for my 'silence' w/ W to be broken (by her). I was without my phone today but I ocassionally checked it for msgs and discovered one from her @ 4:30 when she was done work. It just said that she was wishing to talk to me and hoped I was doing ok and that she would explain more when I could get back to her. So I debated whether to call her right back or to sit on the msg until tomorrow maybe. The more I thought about it, waiting until tomorrow is 'game playing' and is not my style. I would not appreciate it if that sort of game was played on me so I gave her a ring. She seemed like she wanted to be talkative, which I did not. I just acted extremely business-like and let her know that I was responding to her so that she could explain whatever it was that needed explaining to me. She told me that I seemed "edgy" and asked if everything was alright. She said that I seemed upset about something and asked if I wanted to talk about whatever was bothering me. I told her that I was neither happy nor sad and that I was not really interested in discussing things. She responded that she understood and respected that position. Then she got around to explaining to me that she seemed to have misplaced/lost a check which I made out to her and given her on Sunday. I have been covering the rent on her apt(as per my insistence) for the last 6 months during our separation. So she thought she may have thrown it out?? by mistake or something?? and could I deposit that amount into an acct for her. I would think she would do a better job of keeping track of $$, but what do I know? So I told her once she was certain that it was really gone to let me know and I would take care of getting her the $.
So just a short while ago I checked my voice mail again and there was one from her. Surprisingly there is no mention as to whether or not she located the missing check. Instead she aparently was feeling in need of physical touch tonight and perhaps more!! She suggested that if I was able to find transportation to her apt that she would welcome my coming over there tonight. There were some other risque mentionings that pretty much guaranteed that I would be a luckky H. Sucks to be me in this instance as I am only a day or two away from having my wheels returned to me from the garage where my car has been for several weeks. I will keep my fingers crossed that she is just as needy again tomorrow night :).
Surrender it all to God and be burdened no more. That sort of love is the embodiment of true happiness.
