jonzy good for you keep your answers simple and civil nothing more than that it's okay to turn down some invitations, but try and be a little more evasive with your answer try just saying no thanks I have plans already, let the WAS wonder some not to be mean to them but to show alittle mystery or intrigue.
You have to be strong man I know it's tough not to well up when you are hurting we all have a hard time with it, but you can't show that side of yourself to her, if you can't do it for yourself do it for your kids wait until you get in the car or go outside go anywhere just don't do it in front of W. Ask yourself would you want to be around someone who is tearing up all the time? I think you would answer no, be the man she fell in love with show her what she is missing ya feel what I'm saying?
It's a tough road and a H**LL of a rollercoaster ride. You have chosen to honor your vows and comittment to your marriage you have told her this don't tell her again she knows, now work on you make the changes you need to make to be better than you were. In the end however it may workout you will be better person for your W or heaven forbid someone else.
Noone is here to beat you up or put you down, the whole key is that YOU are the one right now that wants to save this marriage I give you kudos on that and so it has to be up to you to make the changes right now. You can do it you sound like a good man and father. Your kids need you the most right now and that too should be your focus, as I said before your W has to walk this path right now and we all hope in the end they come out of the fog and then help in rebuilding a new and better marriage.
Read the books when you get them and then reread them, don't tell W you have them they are for you and you only!!! They are a game plan for you to map out your course and to set your goals. As hard as it is try and not dwell on your sitch it will only drain you from your course of action. Work on your PMA go out with friends, do things with your kids, GAL it all helps to stay solution focused.
I know this all seems out of kilter, to do something totally opposite of what you think, but when you persue, beg, cry that only drives the WAS further away and gives them justification for what they are doing, think about it did doing all that stuff help? We all do it to a point but once you get a handle on detaching with love it comes easier, let what they say roll off your ducks back, they are just words yet I know they still hurt the same.
You may want to post over in Newcomers, there is alot more activity and might get some more feedback there.
Keep up the good work you are doing, you can do it be strong, vent here on these boards read and learn there are alot of people here that can help, you are in a good place.
