Mishka's- new thread/new tude - H who?

[mishka422]

I'm coming at this with new resolve.

I resolve to NOT contact H at all for any reason short of extreme blood loss, death, or dismemberment.

I resolve NOT to humiliate myself the way I did AGAIN tonight. After our nice lunch together today I got it in my head that I would be super nice and invite him for dinner tonight. He shot me down in my own driveway when he dropped of S13 after karate. I'm just so tired of looking pathetic. I WON'T open myself up for that again.

I resolve NOT to accept any more of his pity offers to help me.

I resolve NOT to accept any more of his pity offers to come to lunch with him and S13 or anything else. They can have their time together and I will continue to find something to occupy my time. I can't really call it GAL because I just can't seem to do that.

Just really tired of being a fool. I won't permit myself to be one anymore. GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL MISHKA! HE DOES NOT WANT YOU AND WILL NOT EVER WANT YOU AGAIN. HE IS JUST THROWING ME BONES TO KEEP ME DANGLING.

Ok, there, I think I've yelled at myself enough for now. I feel better.......kind of. Still a total loser but that's nothing new. I'll figure this out someday. I'm better off not seeing him at all. Back to making myself scarce. It's really hard to do most of the time because of S13.

Going to bed. Hoping for a better tomorrow.