Yay! very exciting. Its very promising that its a longish email and that he asked when you are coming to NYC. I wish I could think of a reason why you could call him, because I too have found its much easier on the phone than email. BUT I kind of think you have to play it cool and only email. I would email him straight back and tell him the dates that you are going to be in NYC, mention all the cool fun things that you are going to do - and then be brave and ask if he wants to catch up.
BUT wait to see if OD has a better idea!
I know this feels like the culmination of many months of hard work.... but from his point of view he probably sees it like catching up with an old friend. You cant be expecting anything more than the gradual reconnection of friendship (and hopefully a bit of sexual tension and sparks!). Its too early to be playing hard to get.
Of course when you see him you will talk about how happy you are and make the first move to leave etc.
Maybe you could make it sound in your email that its a total surprise to you that you might be able to meet up with him when you are in NYC?!?! (tricky - I dont know if you can pull it off!). Something like you had forgotten he would be there, or you assumed that he would be away in June, but if he is going to be around you'd love to catch up?!?!
As to the music festival in NJ - prepare to overhear something about BF, and for it to hit you in the guts, but your face to remain blank.... and just make sure you look hot, and that you are having fun.
You are doing great T - good things are coming your way!
Dont lose your inner mojo - remember you are being happy and attractive for yourself - it really doesnt matter what BF or BF's friends think of you.
Hi T! WOW !!! Fantastic !! That was a warm and interested email and yes, he made it obvious he looked you up and was clearly hinting about taking a walk together. Fantastic! Maybe you could hire a bike and go for a ride in Central Park with him on his new bike!? Seeing as you both like cycling and that would be fun.
Dont play games, you have been hanging onto the side of the pool for months and now you have just pushed out into water of Stage 2 and kicked your legs a little :-).. so, email back (dont leave it days), be friendly and chatty in the same tone, like Jeff suggests. He was open and chatty, so do the same, he asked you a couple of questions, so answer them and reciprocate. Dont be afraid, this is going in the right direction, just follow his lead. Also, I think it would be good to be quite direct about the dates you'll be there and even maybe say something like "a walk sounds good" or some gentle hint (I dont think you should pretend you had forgotton he lives there) I think you need to be clear at this stage and start moving toward the idea of meeting up, treat him like an old friend, yuou would be hoping the catch up with when in town. I dont get the impression AT ALL that he would react badly to the idea, so be brave and dont be afraid.
I agree with Essie, look hot for the thing in Jersey and smile alot around his friends and acquaintances! Knowing men, they probabyl wont even gossip or tell B they saw you, but you never know!
I'm mega happy for you, I'm going to have a cup of tea and several biscuits to celebrate.
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
thank you so much for advising!!!! It means so much to me!!! Essie, thank you for being so supportive and sharing all your good ideas. Ali, the idea of going for a bike ride is really clever! You are so right, I have been a side-of-the-pool-clinger!! Time to kick my legs with strength and conviction into the center of the pool!
As for Jersey, I will plan on looking super hot and smiling a lot. There will be both male friends/acquaintances and also female (specifically a pair of twins) so who knows!
I am SO happy you are happy for me and are going to celebrate with tea and SEVERAL biscuits!!!!
LOVELOVELOVE TRANSFORMER
P.S. I just got a grown-up physical exam for the first time (incl. gyn) and the doctor said everything was healthy and normal. I have been putting this off forever and finally did it and it wasn't even that bad!
P.P.S. Ali, any thoughts on how the mercury retrograde might affect my sitch? I need to remember to "casually" ask B for more info on his birth time and exact birth place...
OK guys, How about something like this? I know someday I will be able to send emails to B first without getting edits from you guys but right now it is very reassuring to run them by you all first.
Dear B,
Wow, that is SO awesome that you have a bike now!!!! And you got to bike in Central Park???!!! Hooray! It sounds like Central Park could be pretty tricky though with those little girls on their pink bikes! I am glad there are so many good things about your new bike, especially all the extras like lights and toeclips (and brakes)! Can you adjust the seatpost so it is higher? Peter [his friend who gave him the bike] is pretty tall, right, so it wouldn't be that short?
I was thinking about getting one of these new xtracycle bicycles but they are a little expensive. I heard about it from an acquaintance who is biking through Mexico with his cello!! You can also use them to bike with a cartload of groceries, a passenger, a surfboard... sounds perfect.
I'm actually not coming to the Bang on a Can festival--Missy [my friend in NYC] asked me to go, but I am in Virginia now with my family and I don't want to ditch my Mom on her birthday which is the same day as the concert. I'm going to be in New Jersey (Chatham) at LyricaFest from June 1 to June 15. I might be coming into NYC during lyricafest, but I'm not sure yet. Then from the 15th to the 20/21 I'll be in Brooklyn with Missy. Will you be in town? I do enjoy walking around in beautiful weather.
On the David Byrne website it just looks like it's open Fri Sat Sun noon-6 pm, nothing about a concert. I guess its more of a make your own concert kind of thing. There is a reception on the 31rst from 6 to 8 but it doesn't say anything about performers. But it would be so cool if they did a Talking Heads concert using the building!!!!
TRANSFORMER
I think the tone is right--light and friendly and enthusiastic. I bolded the part I wasn't sure about. Is it OK if I ask him point blank if he'll be in town? Do I need to be more specific that I am willing to come into town from New Jersey to see him if he will be gone the week I'm planning to be there? Am I being to vague saying, "I do enjoy walking around in beautiful weather"? Or alternatively is it too bold for me to assume that he is interested in going for a walk with me?
Thank you for being so patient with me, guys. You are amazing....
It's great you finally got your bike. I am sure you enjoyed your ride in Central Park???!!! It sounds like Central Park could be pretty tricky though with those little girls on their pink bikes!
I was thinking about getting one of these new xtracycle bicycles but they are a little expensive. I heard about it from an acquaintance who is biking through Mexico with his cello!! You can also use them to bike with a cartload of groceries, a passenger, a surfboard... sounds perfect.
I'm actually not coming to the Bang on a Can festival--Missy [my friend in NYC] asked me to go, but I am in Virginia now with my family and I don't want to ditch my Mom on her birthday which is the same day as the concert. I'm going to be in New Jersey (Chatham) at LyricaFest from June 1 to June 15. I might be coming into NYC during lyricafest, but I'm not sure yet. Then , for a few days I'll be in Brooklyn with Missy. Will you be in town? It would be great to catch up during a walk in beautiful weather.
On the David Byrne website it just looks like it's open Fri Sat Sun noon-6 pm, nothing about a concert. I guess its more of a make your own concert kind of thing. There is a reception on the 31rst from 6 to 8 but it doesn't say anything about performers. But it would be so cool if they did a Talking Heads concert using the building!!!!
TRANSFORMER
Maybe you should reconsider about giving him the exact dates of your visit so in case he 'll be away you can always adjust your schedule a bit without him knowing about it. Just an idea...
I took out some things I thought were TOO much but that is of course the way I would do it, you definitely have to keep your style, still I dare to suggest some editing as above (I hope you don't mind, ignore me, please...)
You better send the email soon and not wait for ever... Love K
Hi T... I was just reading that myself thinking the opening paragraph was perhaps a little too eager to please... so I agree with Kalnis edit, just tone it down a little and state you're glad he finally got a bike etc.
I think its fine to suggest meeting up also, as Kalni suggested. Blimey girl, how are you ever going to know otherwise? You cant expect you both to stay single as the years roll by, so I vote for sticking your neck out and making a suggestion of meeting up whislt your there.. it could be months otherwise until you are both in the same city again !?
I agree with Kalni, maybe say around the first 2 weeks, maybe 1-15, not booked yet, or something, like she suggested, leave room for an adjustment if necessary! I hope he IS going to be in town though.
As for the Mercury Retrograde..for you, it is retrograding in your 10th house, which is career and public status/honours, look it up on the links I sent to Michelle. For your B of course we dont know his birthtime, so dont know what house it falls in, but, I noticed that Saturn is now 8 degrees away from his Saturn, so he is nearing the end of his Saturn Return, roughly speaking (its a slow, gradual wind down and it wouldnt be possible to pinpoint an "end" its like all of us, gradually and continously maturing...), but yay for the end of his SR in sight!
I reckon he will be much less Saturnian by the time you show up in June :-)
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
YYYIIIIIIPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I'm so HAPPY that B mailed you back. Obviously he took his time about it because he was trying to think of interesting and fun things to say to you
Originally Posted By: transformer
OK guys, How about something like this? I know someday I will be able to send emails to B first without getting edits from you guys but right now it is very reassuring to run them by you all first.
I think this is a great thing to do- remember when I started posting and I'd put in every single interaction with H in really great detail? It was SOOOOO helpful to get feedback and input from everyone (especially the boys!) on what would be good to write......
And I'm really glad you're replying a bit more quickly- that's fantastic (I also agree with Essie's advice about looking hot and just being beautiful you with B's friends. And being prepared to hear about him in the third person).
So, I LOVE the e-mail. I think it's just perfect- warm and friendly, T-ish, which is brilliant, and inviting a response but not forcing one. Really great!
I'm wondering about this bit......
I'm going to be in New Jersey (Chatham) at LyricaFest from June 1 to June 15. I might be coming into NYC during lyricafest, but I'm not sure yet. Then from the 15th to the 20/21 I'll be in Brooklyn with Missy. Will you be in town? I do enjoy walking around in beautiful weather.[/quote] I think I might write something like this instead (to give B a sense of you travelling into NYC during lyricafest (that sounds really cool, BTW!)
I'm going to be in New Jersey (Chatham) at LyricaFest from June 1 to June 15, and will probably pop into NYC while I'm there. Then from the 15th to the 20/21 I'll be in Brooklyn with Missy. Will you be in town? I do enjoy walking around in beautiful weather and it'd be great to see you if you are.
Originally Posted By: transformer
Is it OK if I ask him point blank if he'll be in town?
Yes!
Originally Posted By: transformer
Do I need to be more specific that I am willing to come into town from New Jersey to see him if he will be gone the week I'm planning to be there?
I wouldn't do this as you want to seem as though you can take or leave seeing him, but obviously it'd be nice to see him if he;s around. Saying you're willing to come into town if he's not around the week you're there comes on a bit strongly, IMHO. I'd leave things flexible (as in the edit above!)
Originally Posted By: transformer
Am I being to vague saying, "I do enjoy walking around in beautiful weather"? Or alternatively is it too bold for me to assume that he is interested in going for a walk with me?
Yes to the first, and no to the second. Why WOULDN'T he be interested in going for a walk with you?! You are FABULOUS! I think if the invitation is written in a friendly, light and non-pressure way, it's fine to make it. He's said about walking around in his e-mail; you're just continuing the conversation. My only word of caution with this, though, is not to be upset if he turns out to be busy or away while you're in town. I'd be willing to bet �100 though, that if he's there he'll meet you. For sure!!
Thank you guys SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!!!!!!!!! Email has been SENT. I incorporated all the feedback. Wow, you guys are so right, I was gushing way too much about the bike. Plus it is much more flexible if I leave the times a little vague. I decided to use a version of OD's suggestion about it would be great to see you if you are in town cause I felt like I should be a little takeitorleaveit sounding. I can always use the Kalni version as a counterresponse in the next email. YOU ARE SO AMAZING (((((KALNI)))))(((((ALI)))))))((((((((LISA)))))) THANK yoU THANK yoU THANK yoU!!!
So, in addition to getting my very first adult medical physical this morning, I just had my very first grownup makeover at MAC cosmetics. My brother came with me to the mall for moral support and the makeup lady seriously spent like 90 minutes on my face. She used a bazillion different products and brushes (including 3 different types of mascara...?) and the results were amazing. At the end she showed me the mirror and I thought... WOW I look like a supermodel!!!
so I bought some unbelievably awesome eyeshadows and "lip glass". and I also scored some new sunglasses, got some special pads for the inside of my high heels, and made an appt at a different makeup store for a more conventional everyday makeover on Friday. This is all very helpful b/c I am 100% clueless about makeup. But now I am GLAMORIZING and it is FUN!
My brother and mom and dad were really excited about the makeover too. They are SO supportive. It is especially awesome because 6 months ago my brother was barely talking to me and now we are really close. YAY DBING!!!
I am soooooooOOOO lucky to have you guys in my life.
Kalni--i took your advice and sent it right away as soon as I came home and saw your posts and did the edits.
Ali--thank you so much for checking the Saturn positions. I am so excited for him to be less saturnian when I see him (hopefully) in June!!
OD--thank you so much for being so supportive & telling me you also posted every lil detail in the beginning.
Just FYI everyone I have another chance to see him later in the summer. It would be easy for me to go through NYC in mid to late July on my way to a Cello Bootcamp in Massachusetts and it would also be easy for me to stop through NYC in mid August on the way to a wedding--*if* he is going to be there, I do not know.
Question. B's birthday is tomorrow. Since he emailed me back should I call him to say happy birthday or would that be too pursuing? alternatively I can figure out how to leave a voicemail that goes straight to voicemail. Or I could just send him a text or email following the original plan....
