WAW...now LBS part III

[HOPEFULinCALI]

The latest,

I spoke with H on Saturday after a brief conversation two days before at which time he asked me to watch the dog while he went out of town with his "girl friend" and several ship buddies and their wives/girlfriends. I told him during this conversation that I had my weekend planned, but if anything changed I would let him know. Again he asked me to pay a bill.

Saturday- I let him know that I could not watch her. I spent the rest of the night avoiding confrontation as he told me
1. I should not have gone out of town without calling him about the weekend.
2. To call my sisters and Mom to watch the dog.
3. He was going to leave our little yorkie for TWO days (with only a bowl of dry food, stale water and no way to use the restroom or get exercise) unless I figured it out.

I told him I would if I could but I couldn't. I suppose he hasn't heard of pet hotels, but I couldn't tell him or then I would be sending him some crazy message that he was unintelligent or something equally crazy.

Tues- Called him to talk about everyday matters. How was the weekend, anything new, how was vegas, is the dog still alive (I tried to make a joke of the sitch and asked if she had chewed off her leg blah blah blah (thx jmw).
He told me that he had duty on Saturday but no watch and that maybe we could have dinner sometime soon. I agreed and told him that I would see him soon.

Today- I spoke with my DB coach. We identified his possible motives as control and revenge. The plan is to eliminate his need to control the sitch and create a power struggle. I am going to do this by letting him know that "I get it" thus giving him one less reason to continue with the actions that are meant to show me that he is controlling the sitch and that he is done with our relationship. I also need to take more responsibility for my part of the bills to maitain my vested interest in the home.

I am on to plan a talk for the weekend that shows him I get it.