Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain 38

[MissH]

W2S,

Plus, if he does shoot his mouth off real bad, it may be good for a restraining order and reduced visitation.

The L I saw yesterday told me if he threatens to kill me again I need to have him arrested and that will be his and his lawyer's problem. He said getting a restraining order would help my case. He seemed annoyed that I didn't do it the last time.

However, lawyers are not there to try and save the marriage eitehr. Not sure if saving the marriage is what I want either....I don't know what I want right now. I just don't want it to get too ugly.

[MissH]

Kiki, I hope things are looking up.

Snodderly, I am trying to prepare myself as best as possible. Who knows how he is going to react, but I am sure it won't be pretty.

[MissH]

Bworl, I have been following all of your recent posts and I have to say, your advice has been spot on.

You know full well that it is hard for you to NOT engage in dialogue with him when he's on a verbal roll.

You know me pretty well! I know this myself, I realized it after I had taped one of our recent arguments. I didn't realize I was doing it at the time, not until I played it back. I suck at this dbusting.

Has either lawyer advised you on the child visitation issues?

The first lawyer did. She said that if I retain her then we need to get visitation put into writing. She was surprised it already wasn't. She said that even if we had joint custody it does not mean that JA gets to see the boys whenever he wants.

Thanks for stopping by Bill!

[MissH]

Thanks Shades! That is a great quote for me. Now I just got to allow myself to believe it!

Always great to hear from you.

Soooo.....I called the first L and they are going to call me back up with an appointment to come in and sign a retainer agreement. Hopefully that will be soon.

JA comes today to visit the boys. Hopefully I don't have to see him really.

Off to go get S7 off the bus.....I'll check in later.

[MissH]

Ding Dong didn't bring the boys home until ten after 9pm. He had them for 4 hours, so much for his 2 hour visitation on Wednesdays.

S7 said he took them clothes shopping so they would have clothes at his house. I am sure he is going to expect that I be responsible for half of it again.

I always pack him clothes on the weekend so him having to buy them clothes for his "secret hideout" is not necessary.

Oh well, at least the boys had fun.

[momof2girls]

Do not pay for the clothes he has purchased for them. Does he pay for clothes you buy for them...not including child support?

This 4 hour business for visitation is ridiculous. If he doesn't have them home two hours after he gets them, or if he doesn't have them home by the agreed upon drop off time I would call him over and over again.

does he realize it is a school night? You are the one stuck trying to get them out of bed in the morning!

I hope this new L works fast...JA needs the reality check that not all things should be the way he thinks~!

[Maya44]

Seriously! 4 hours is too long. H has D for 2 hours on Wednesday nights. Bringing her back at 7:30 (which he always drags out until like 7:45) and that's late enough with getting her homework done (if they didn't do it together), then bath and bed. It's ridiculous. They don't think about the responsibilities of school nights though since they only care about their needs.

[Cinderellaman]

I know what your H is doing isn't right....

But 4 hours with his kids should be something we encourage, not discourage.

I agree the timing is terrible and he brings them back too late.

He only does it to get a reaction.

It's like teasing or bullying someone, the more you complain about it, the more fun it is to keep on doing it. Once you stop reacting, the fun just seems to slip away.

I'm sorry MrsH, I know you've had a horrible H to deal with...

I just don't think that we should complain about parents wanting to spend time with their kids.

I hope I haven't offended you or others.

[Maya44]

No offense taken by me. I am glad H is finally coming around D. The first year was a b*tch!

[tpaschal]

W2S,

Plus, if he does shoot his mouth off real bad, it may be good for a restraining order and reduced visitation.

The L I saw yesterday told me if he threatens to kill me again I need to have him arrested and that will be his and his lawyer's problem. He said getting a restraining order would help my case. He seemed annoyed that I didn't do it the last time.

However, lawyers are not there to try and save the marriage eitehr. Not sure if saving the marriage is what I want either....I don't know what I want right now. I just don't want it to get too ugly.

You can't worry about this right now. I know....so easy to say, and so hard to do. I know all about that myself!

However, I know a couple in RL who went through a nasty divorce (H in MLC having affair with much younger woman, yada, yada, yada). He threatened her, she had him arrested once, they both had restraining orders out against each other.......

They divorced, he broke up with OW, had a string of short-lived affairs, she started dating, met a nice man, became engaged....

The ex-H had a serious accident. Guess who he called? Guess who went to take care of him? Guess what happened next?

Yep, you guessed it. They are back together after 5 years apart and are getting remarried.

So don't worry about anything right now except protecting yourself and the boys. There is NO WAY to know what the future holds.