Hope4us struggle, part 4

[Hope4us]

Like I've said before Pup, If they're talking/emailing/IM'ing it's at work and I have no way of confirming. I feel like she probably realizes the affair is over, but she just doesn't get that if they're still talking (if they are) that the affair is still going on.

She denied as recently as last Saturday that she's been in contact with him. I know cheaters lie. I know I've said this before also, but I'm going to act as if they aren't talking. But I am not going to let things go on this way forever. My original plan was if we're not making progress by July then I was going to give her the chit or get off the pot talk. And that still could be happening, but the last two days are a perfect example of her mood swings.

I mentioned before that on Monday when DS16 and I got home from our cookout/grad party she was pretty talkative and interested in family/friends news. Then yesterday she was pretty quiet. This morning before they left for work/school, DS asked about going to DisneyWorld in August. I asked WW if we were going. We had discussed briefly this past weekend and she said she'd have to check to make sure she could get vacation.

So this morning I'm on my way to a meeting (how's that, on vacation and get a meeting scheduled I'm required to be at) and WW TM's me and asks the dates, tells me she's got them off and finds flights pretty cheap. I made the reservations for the hotel and made the flight reservations and let WW know about it. She's all excited. Once I got home and signed on she starts IMing me about the trip etc.

Here's what I think is going on. WW is still probably in contact with OM, but on a limited basis (but I could be wrong there. Both boy's expressing their displeasure with her could have been enough to get her to end contact). It's probably just "how you doing" type stuff once in a while. I think she's honestly seeing how things will go with us. I've seen quite a few baby steps and some more than baby steps the last few weeks. I know any contact with OM will make it so it's very hard for her to respond to me, but it seems like it's slowly happening. Like you mentioned in your sitch, it took your wife 3 months to finally get it. I'm going on 8 weeks of supposed NC. As long as I know they're not in physical contact I can be patient. So we'll see if things continue to progress, maybe too slowly for me, but progress none the less. In the next few weeks I'm going to press her on reading "not just friends" and "after the affair" and see what she says. If things keep making slow progress ( I have some goals in mind) then we'll go on our family vacation in August. This will be a good bonding experience for all of us. If things aren't moving forward by then, I'll make my move.

I know you'll probably say I'm avoiding again, but like I said before, WW is the queen of stubbornville, so I just feel like I need to continue to GAL, show her how it can be with the FAMILY and let her figure it out on her own. I now see this August vacation as the lynch pin. If we're not moving forward to my satisfaction by then, we'll have the talk.

Rambling, I know, but it makes sense in my mind.