Thanks PH. I think it is a good sign too but I think she is still very lost. I think she still thinks there is nothing wrong with what she is doing and that this will lead to everyone being happy.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
If she had the kids more I think it would just feed her fantasy that eveything will be just peachy. I agree that split time is (as you stated, very loosely) best for the kids. By everyone(being happy), does she include the kids in this?
My W has left me scratching my head once again......
Over the last 2 weeks she has had the kids. However, I pick the kids up and drop them off to her after school. At least 3 times in the past 2 weeks W has said to me "D5 is really missing you this week".
What is it that she expects me to do about it when she says that??? I hug and kiss my kids every day when I drop them off and tell them that I will see them tomorrow and that I love them. So what is she getting at? It is after all her actions that are causing D5 to miss me. Only she can fix that.
I don't get it.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
Imgageer, there is no way we can figure our spouses out. We aren't mind readers. However, we can try to deduce what she is saying without actually using the correct words.
If you said the same thing to your W, i.e. the situation was reversed where you had your D with you and you told your W that your D really missed her, why would you say that? What are you really saying and why?
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
Over the last 2 weeks she has had the kids. However, I pick the kids up and drop them off to her after school. At least 3 times in the past 2 weeks W has said to me "D5 is really missing you this week".
Who cares why you think your wife is saying it.
Don't spend energy on asking WTF? spend energy and making the point to your D5 that you are always there for her no matter if you are not in the same house.
D5 is the focus here not your W and what she is thinking. Who knows, and who cares.
Wrong focus I think lovey.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
I had thought of doing exactly that. I just have to try and not say it in a confrontational way.
MMF,
If I was to say that to her my purpose would be to illustrate how she is making the wrong choices and thus hurting her kids. I doubt this is why she is saying it to me. You and Lis are right however, I should not dwell on it and simply look after my D. However, to me, not analysing something is harder than detaching.
Lissie,
Are we grumpy today?!?! I can look up some nice shoes for you if it would help Maybe a nice pair of Jimmy Choo's?
You are right, I should not analyze what she is talking about. If she wants to say something she should come out and say it. This is a huge problem with my W and at the very root of this problem. She never says what is really on her mind, she just stews in it or tells someone else and expects the problem to get solved.
I do lok out for my kids and their well being. I tell them all the time that they can call me or talk to me whenever they want. I think that part of the problem is that I see the kids in the late afternoon and we laugh and have fun and then I drop them off and go but they still want to be with me. Unfortunately, I cannot do anything about this at the moment, it is by W's actions that this is the case and she knows it. This is why I wonder why she would say something like this.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
I can look up some nice shoes for you if it would help