OneDay I appreciate the help w/the stages.And yes, this will be the hardest part...waiting(crickets, crickets, crickets...)ha ha. It helps to see stories where others have thought they really blew it and then the spouse comes around. I'll keep you guys posted. Also, OneDay, I keep trying to read your story and can't get to your page for some reason. As soon as I can get on your page I'll be able to keep up with you too.
Here's what happened: Last night at about midnight, I was sound asleep (it took me a while to get there thinking about H). My phone signals that I have a text message. I wake up and see it's H! He simply says, "Hi". I replied, "Hi". He then proceeds to send me two more, one saying "How R" the next "U?". I'm thinking this could take all night but remember my DB coach said it was ok to be spontaneous and to take the good moments as they come. I then replied, "Good, you?". He says, "Thinking...about you". I was floored. Where did all this come from? I then said "good thoughts" and I purposely didn't put a question mark there, just to kind of throw him off a bit (hey it was midnight). He then says, "Yes, good thoughts". That was it! I didn't text anything else. I figured I'd said enough. No contact since last night and I'm just going to let it be. What do you guys think? I think it makes no sense at all.
Hmm, not making any sense sounds par for the course at this point. It's great that contacted you and it's great that you left him being the last one to text, leave it in his court and make him come to you, if you make it too easy for him then he won't really be invested in the decision and will be much more likely to leave again when things aren't "easy".
Sounds good, really good. Just don't contact him at all, keep doing what your doing. It may take a week until he contacts you again, but just don't contact him so you can let him pursue you.
Good job on handling the text messages! I agree with everyone else--DO NOT contact him--your lack of initiating is going to get his attention more than calling him everyday will. I am seeing this myself with my own sitch.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
"your lack of initiating is going to get his attention more than calling him everyday will."
Yes I agree with military wife...
A woman I was helping on a different board, her husband would initiated and then she would jump on the band wagon--and he'd pull back.
He'd say he wanted to come over and she'd say yes! then he wouldn't show up.
When he does contact you again it will be a lot faster and with more pursuing then if you contacted him before. And when he does, don't be all gung ho yes if he asks to see you or to talk or whatever.
Let him think YOU are no longer sure if he is what YOU want.
And next time he texts in the middle of the night, don't answer. He can wait, you're sleeping! And why should he assume you are alone in the middle of the night?
Great feedback everyone. You are SO right about the texting in the middle of the night. I need to remember to "act as if"... and in this situation, "as if" means "as if I am not interested in answering a midnight text". Gotcha. The text could have been a way for him to check and see if he still has me on the hook. I'll be more prepared next time. Glad I didn't get too involved with it.
