Confusedinva, I dont have any experience with retrouvaille, but it has been highly recommended on this board by many.
I think if your spouse is willing to go, then take advantage of it and go with out having too many expectations. Just my opinion.
There have been many times that I have read through others posts on here in the MLC forum and seen many couples that have gone to it and it mostly helps with communication. Some can be found in the MLC success cases at the top of the board. Maybe look their for some others advise.
I feel for you and my Heart goes out to you. MLC is tough whether your going through it or watching your most loved one in the world go through it. Keep your hopes up, and be very patient. Read Divorce Busting and Divorce Remedy for your best chances of getting through this.
My H has been in MLC for about 3 & 1/2 to 4 years now and he is only 29. He has just returned to me to try and work on our marriage for the 3rd try (4th, if you count our origonal M). It seems he may be having an awakening and slowly exiting the tunnel he has been in for so long. We were legally seperated and living apart for over a year and I wont lie to you - it was the hardest most depressing time in my Life. I pray that my H and I can make it work this time, so I am still divorce busting for the best results.
Your in my Thoughts. Also maybe try calling retrouvaille to see what they say about a WAS who is in MLC and having an A (whether or not they think it would be worth it or not). Good Luck!!! TIPPER
