Retrouvaille

[missmyfriend]

I know you are hurting and you are grasping at straws to find out what you can do to draw her back to you. You probably feel that there is something you can do to make that happen. Yes and no.

First, if you haven't done so already, pick up a copy of Divorce Busting or Divorce Remedy. You need to understand that we all have responsibility for the part we played in getting to where we are now.

Whether she is in a MLC or not, you need to understand that she is not in your control.

You will hear this often that you can only work on yourself and that is 100% accurate. When you get to the point where you realize you need to work on yourself regardless of the outcome of your marriage, you will then be working on you for the right reasons.

And since you are mentioning Retrouvaille, you apparently believe that God can help you and your W. He can but you need to be genuine with Him and seek a sincere relationship with Him and not just to get your W back.

Do not push God into her face or you will only alienate her and not showing trust in God. She probably knows what she is doing is wrong but you pointing out things can only create a further rift between the two of you. What would God do? What would Jesus do? He would love her until she is ready to love Him back.

If she has agreed to go to Retrouvaille willingly, wonderful. Do not force expectations on her. Do not worry if it will push her away further. That may be God convicting her and she may not like it. Often, when a person is acting opposite of what God would have them do, there are extremely uncomfortable times followed by a crisis of faith.

This is God's battle. Not yours. God loves your W even more than you do and doesn't want to lose her. He knows what He is doing. Let God work on her and let Him work on you. Make real and permanent changes in yourself. She will see this over time.

Remember, your W is not your child and she has her own free will. If you hover over her, it will only drive her away. In my situation (which is not resolved), my W knows that I love her and I will always love her. She also knows that I am devoted to our family and am avoiding any knee jerk reaction that I would regret later in life.

There are a lot of good people on this site that will have great advice and can provide what worked or didnt work for them. Take it in. See if it pertains to your situation and, if you are a praying person, ask God to guide you.

You are in my thoughts and in my prayers.