I know that feeling of, I can't believe I am here.
You will feel that for some time, and it may resurface every now and again, when you least expect it.
The pain of getting cheated on, is not easy. The pain of divrce isn't either. You will be ok. It just takes time.
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I still miss her sometimes. Others I'm mad as hell at her. My former friend? I really, really want to see karma kick him in the crotch - and, while he's doubled over, in the face a couple of times. I've honestly thought that if he were to die in a car accident or get cancer, that it would actually please me. That worries me some, but high levels of betrayal are likely to bring out the nastier side of a person.
These are normal feelings, that you should process and feel and go through. I remember one day the X telling me, I just want to ram my car into a tree. I responded with please, stop teasing me and just do it already.
I also have also had the fantasy of running him over or setting him on fire and having the OW watch.
I just have to repent for my sinful fantasies, and know that I am good deep down inside. As are you.
It hurts some days more than others. You will smile again, and laugh again. You will receive and give hugs like you used to.
You will wake one morning and go about your business and at the end of the day, you will say to yourself. Holy crap, I have not thought about her or this D till right now. Then go reward yourself with something great like shoes.
Detaching. It saves us every time.
Nice to meet you.
Do you have that Fargo accent?
I will have a chilled Mimosa with low acid orange juice. I just can't partay like I used to and have the regular orange juice jeepers.
Lissett
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
